The Spotlight is on My Father

I’ve hit a snag on day 6 of the Ultimate Blog Challenge. Instead of getting down to business and writing, I started to delete my media library. One thing led to another. I couldn’t stop until it was emptied except for a few favourites. So I’m trying to stay calm and not scramble to find a few words. My advice to myself is stay with the program. Make it simple. Make it easy.

I’m taking Paul Taubman, our digital maestro’s idea of spotlighting a person in my life. So the spotlight is on my father. I took him out for coffee this afternoon. Since my mother passed in October, I’ve been trying to spend more time with him. It’s the first time he’s ever been alone. It’s a hard task at 93 years old. He had a few rough spells in the beginning, requiring a hospitalization. Now, it’s a few doctor’s visits once in awhile.

He’s doing remarkably well. He still lives in his own house and cooks for himself. We help him with groceries, housework and snow shovelling. We visit, take him on outings and meals sometimes. He plays Majong on his iPad, reads Chinese books I get from the library. He dresses and bathes himself. Uses cane/walker. He gets lonely for mom, of course. When he gets down, I remind him how remarkable he is, that he’s doing all these things. I remind him, too, that he is continent of everything, not peeing or pooping his pants. He laughs and things pass.

Pulling Up My Bootstraps

The longer I loll in bed, the harder it is to rise. I bit the bullet, whip off the covers and sat up. No matter what I was feeling, I dressed up, sat on the toilet, washed my face and showed up for breakfast. It was a good one this morning, omelette and toast. I didn’t have to make it either. I’m pulling myself up by the bootstraps. Stand tall, feel better.

Life is good. It is good to have challenges to get the day going. I’ve posted for #the100dayproject as well as for April Love 2025 both on FB and Instagram. It is a photo challenge to a word prompt for each day in April. I have bread dough proofing in the oven. Now I am trying to get this post for the Ultimate Blog Challenge written. It is day 5 and I’m still here! It is easier to keep the momentum going by showing up every day. A little dab will do it. I choose short and easy.

The Things I Used to Do

A sunny April morning at 10 am but still dark when I woke at 6. I’m not bouncing out of bed yet. I am more bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. I am grateful for what I am and for what I have. I am still me. I have my spirit though it is a bit dampened. I have recovered my hearing. It, too, is a bit dampened. I can hear the running of the furnace and the flush of the toilet. I can carry on a converstion, listening and speaking, no longer relying on pen and paper.

Life is good. It is full of wonder and mystery. I try to bask in the warmth and light. I try not to ask too many whys to questions that have no answers. I am still healing. I do not want to lose any unnecessary energy. I try to dwell in moments of “remembered wellness.” I pray and ask for prayers. It all has helped me to be here today – tapping on the keyboard, finding my way back to the things I used to do. I’m doing it slowly, taking James Clear’s advice from his book Atomic Habits. I want to make things easy.

Rise and Shine

It’s not any easier to get out of bed this morning. It is not any harder. I’m up, dressed and showing up. My day 40 teacup is drawn and posted. WordPress is not allowing me to upload photos because my media file is over the limit for my free plan. It’s too stressful to chisel it down. Right now, just words work for me. I see that linking to my FB page works to show my teacup if anyone wants to see it. I’m beating the system. Shhh! I better not talk too loud.

The sun is making a showing. It makes alot of difference to me. The greenhouse temperature is above 0 now. I have all my seedling trays in the greenhouse. I will try to plant a few this afternoon, time permitting. It’s good to have a plan, however small. Otherwise, time has a way of drifting away and I fall into inertia. It’s not easy to rise and shine on my own. Sometimes I get stuck halfway and throw in the towel. A little help from a list goes a long time.

I am now limp with my efforts this morning. I will throw in the towel. Tomorrow is another day to write more for the Ultimate Blog Challenge.

April Mornings

April mornings are still dark enough that I’m not ready to spring out of bed like an eager bunny. I still snuggled into my covers even though I’ve been awake for awhile. I have to work my way out in my head first. First I have to throw off the warmth of the silk quilt and let the cool air rouse me out of bed. Then the rest is history as they say.

I haven’t been keen on going to the gym the last couple of weeks either. I tell myself that it is ok. I’m resting and healing. I do enough. I move enough. I’m resetting, turning myself off to save energy. I am very careful now where my energy goes. I don’t want to lose any needlessly. There’s been many losses this year. I don’t want to cry crocodile tears. In fact, I haven’t cried at all with losing my mother in October. It seemed so strange to lose her after all these years. Then shortly after, I lost my hearing – all of it for awhile. I hadn’t cried then either.

Everything was strange, bizarre and traumatic. It left me no energy to mourn the passing of my mother. It left me no energy to be angry, sad or depressed. I prayed and asked for many prayers. After these many months, I have gained much of my hearing back. I am filled with gratitude and awe. It has been such a life changing year. So much loss and yet so much gain at the same time. I’m grateful for these grey April mornings, too. They’re restful. I don’t have to be an EverReady bunny, going on and on.

First Day(s)

April Fools’ Day is cloudy and cool. It is also the first day of the Ultimate Blog Challenge. I’ve been a frequent participant though I did skipped the one in December. We write a post every day for the month of April, publish it on our own site before adding it to the Ultimate Blog Challenge page. I do it because I love words and writing. Writing helps me to process my thoughts. It is meditation for me. I meet people. It helps build community. We do become friends, supporting and cheering each other on.

Those are the main reasons. I am not ambitious. I don’t have a product to sell. I don’t even have a great website. It is just plain talk, chatting while I’m tapping on the keyboard and sipping on a cup of tea. My goal is just to show up each day with some words and to read a few posts from other participants. Wish me luck.

Retrieving My Soul

There’s a rhythm in having a daily routine, in having some daily challenges no matter how small they are. Life is no small thing. It’s a big deal just getting out of bed in the morning for me in these times. I find myself lingering and lingering, burrowing into my covers. I find myself wondering what the heck happened to the me who couldn’t wait for the morning, the night before. The thought then does propel me out of bed. That action starts the ritual of getting dressed, washing face, brushing teeth and showing up.

The memories of sunnier times, of well being helps me going forward to find and retrieve my spirit, my soul and purpose. So I draw and paint my teacup for the day. I write these few words for today’s post. It’s a good beginning for the day.

Not Drowning

I’ve been warned by WordPress that I’m over my limit for media files since I’ve reverted back to a free plan. I have to delete alot of already uploaded photos or pay. Otherwise I will be blocked if I try to use any photos already uploaded. Since I’m just limping along here, I will keep it simple in just words. I’m drowning most days in inertia and overwhelm, I don’t need the added stress. So it’s plain Jane writing from now on till….

I just hate this feeling of inertia and overwhelm. It makes me want to throw up. Yet, it is very difficult to discard and overcome. I had to do alot of heaving this morning to work it out in my head, then will my body to move. Gravity is a heavy thing. I’ve been in #the100dayproject now for over a month. I’ve been drawing and painting teacups for over a month. It’s become a habit so that is something I started the morning with. Once the inertia is broken, it is easier to keep moving.

I was able to keep moving, setting up the Roomba for 2 bedrooms and a bathroom. Meanwhile, I ran the dust mop in the livingroom, diningroom and kitchen. I did not aim for a perfect clean. Good enough is good enough. My goal this year is to keep from drowning, to keep my nose above the waterline. Now I’m here tapping on the keyboard, warming up these fingers, practicing, finding words and sentences to keep going for April.

Start Where I am

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels.com

I’m back, trying to tap out a few words, a few thoughts. It is not easy. It is damn difficult starting…anything. It’s torture actually trying to find an opening. So, I’ll just start where I am. It is almost April. I’ve signed up for the April Ultimate Blog Challenge. Challenges have a way of giving me a boost. I’m warming up and flexing my fingers for the keyboard. I need not be clever. I need not be profusive. I just need a few thoughts and a few sentences.

Life has been bumpty, with more than just a few twists and turns. I’m not here to tell sob stories but they might spill out just the same. I’m here to get out of those ruts and puddles and back to the flow of life. I’m hoping to tap out some insights and solutions. I’m hoping to get back some oomph. I’ve been a dishrag for too many months now. I don’t wear dishrags well. I hope to inspire myself.

While I was dumbstruck this morning, I seeded some kohlrabi and cabbage. I soaked some bitter melon seeds for easier germination. Then I washed some dishes. It’s better to do something, anything rather than being stuck motionless. Now I’m on the way. I’ve broken the ice. I hope my words will flow for the April writing challenge.

Just Words

It’s been awhile since I’ve been here. I’ve lost the number of days. I’ve lost my train of thought. I’ve given up my paid personal plan for this site. Now it’s just plain Jane with advertisements. I hope there won’t be too many ads. I hope I still have readers. I am not sure if I can decorate my words with photos since I’ve way over my limit for this freebie WordPress site. We shall see but I will not test it today.

Today it will be just plain words. I’m testing my fingers to see if they still work. I haven’t exercised them for many days. I’m a little anxious on coming back. I’ve had some health issues since the passing of my mother in October. I think I am on the mend though it doesn’t feel like it. Since words have always been my salvation, I thought I would write myself well. It won’t be easy but I can make a start.

My fingers and the rest of me have gone to mush in these last few weeks. Though I can’t do big, I can do small. What I can do each day is a few words, a few sentences. I can start a gratitude journal. I can walk a block or so a day. I can meditate a few minutes a day. I can do a few minutes of stretching and qigong. I can. I can. I can.