Monthly Archives: April 2024

Pausing

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It’s day 8 of the Ultimate Blog Challenge and I got day 48 of #the100dayproject under my belt. These challenges are working for me. Putting my commitments in writing and making them visible make me more accountable. It’s strengthing my perseverance muscle. When I feel myself reverting to my old ways or thinking of doing it, something inside gives me pause. In my mind’s eye, I see my written words. And I am saved from falling into the same hole again.

I need not to paint a master piece or write a great piece that will go viral. Something small will do just as well in keeping me moving along. I’ve been going into the greenhouse daily in the mornings. Sometimes I just want to have a look around. Other mornings I plant a few seedlings before the call for breakfast. In a few days a whole bed is planted with snowpeas, spinach, radish and Gai Lan (Chinese broccoli). The overcast sky this morning was perfect for transplanting. The young seedlings will take better without a hot sun.

Pausing works for turning around my bad attitude. I hear my whine and grump. It doesn’t sound so nice. It’s voiced but it doesn’t have to continue. I can stop and say I’ll be better the next time.

Possibilities and Change

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It’s taken my whole dang life to get my shit together. It’s okay. It is a worthwhile life long project and I love learning. I’ve just spent 2 hours cleaning house. I’m sitting down with my cup of tea. It is a sunny morning. I’ve planted a few Chinese broccoli seedlings in the greenhouse. The radishes planted yesterday are looking good. The tulips by the front of the house are up. Amazon just delivered my electric kettle. I’m feeling pretty chipper.

I’ve realized now that I have given too much attention to my moods in the past. Everyone has them and I am no worse for them. I function very well, no matter which mood I am in. I’ve learned that I can choose how to feel. Some days it is harder than others. It is through living with it all that I grow and gain experience. It’s what gives my life flavour. So I shall try to whine less about my usual stuff, relax a little and try to have more fun if I can. Being a serious person, I’m really not a fan of fun. But I can learn to change.

I am always surprised at how much I can change once I open myself to that possibility. I can be a fast learner once I make up my mind.

Against the Flow

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It’s day 6 of the Ultimate Blog Challenge. Only 24 more days to go and 54 more days for #the100dayproject. I’m experiencing a malaise and a dip in my spirit. In these moments I wonder why I put these commitments upon myself. It would be so much easier if I go with the flow. It would be but I do know where that could lead – stagnation. And it is just not me – to go with the flow. I’m prickly, sometimes known as an eccentric person.

What I need when malaise hits is action. Though I don’t advocate shopping on Amazon as a solution, that’s what I did. I bought an electric kettle and Lyn Slater’s book on How to Be Old. I was waiting for the paperback version but I decided I need to read it now. So ping! Now it’s on my Kindle. Not sure how useful it will be. Not alot of super reviews on Goodreads.What triggered my dippy mood is reminders of aging and what that could mean. I had a visit with my 92 year old mother yesterday. The conversation was largely about aging, declining strength, vitality and meaning of life. It left me feeling blue and deflated, wondering on how to age well. That’s when I remembered Lyn Slater, the accidental icon.

It’s good that the morning was sunny. I’ve started my daily early morning visits to the greenhouse before breakfast. Today I transplanted my radishes into the bed. After I thought I better do my stretches before I lose my oomph. It’s the first time in many months that I have no pain in my left foot. I had plantar fasciitis since before Christmas. Just as it was finally resolving, I stubbed my little toe on the same foot. Took 5 weeks for it to heal. I am motivated to keep pain away by doing my daily stretches.

Now it is almost 4 in the afternoon. We took a little drive out of the city to Crossmount to look at some paintings and pottery on display. We had some dessert at the restaurant and walked around outside after. There was quite a few people out enjoying the sunshine and the cider house. I’m feeling refreshed and renewed.

Bad Paint Days

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Now we’ve all had bad days of one sort or another. I’ve had from bad hair days to bad write days to just really all-bad days. Now I’m having bad paint days. So I decided that I was maybe choosing too difficult subjects for #the100dayproject. Having painted quite a few geishas in the past with no problems, I thought they would make a good subject for a few days. But alas, no such luck. I’m laying on layers and layers of paint, correcting, revising. She’s admonishing me with her critical eyes. Good thing I haven’t given her mouth. She can’t give me no sass.

Perhaps I can leave her thus. Things get worse when I try too hard. I’m on day 46, not quite halfway. Day 45 was bad – Henry and Kate from On Golden Pond. Henry looked too young and not grumpy enough. My colours looked muddy. Day 44 of Mugs and More Art started the bad paint days streak. It like the domino effect.

mugs and more art
Henry and Kate – On Golden Pond

I just have to accept that in life there are good and bad days. Sometimes we have to give things a rest and do the best we can. Tomorrow is another day.

Inspiration, Perspiration

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My wish for rain came true. It’s cloudy as can be with rain coming down. It’s as if the whole world is weeping. There is that much sadness in the world but I must not give into that sadness. I must use it to inspire myself into better. I must pull myself up by the bootstraps. When inspiration does not work, there’s the perspiration of hard work. It works. It’s in the mindset.

I’m off on a better start today. It helps to know and accept oneself. I have. Knowing that I feels things deeply and have the propensity for melancholia, I’ve always have had to work hard to maintain a positive outlook. Good cheer and energy does not come naturally to me. I have learned to compensate for the lack. Perhaps it’s not such a bad thing. Having to work for it have built good habits and resilience in me. I do worry about maintaining it as I age.

My saving graces are my love of learning and self-improvement. I have this thirst for knowledge and how to do better. I’ve been reading Jim Kwik’s Limitless and Stan Goldberg’s Preventing Senior Moments: How to Stay Alert into Your 90s and Beyond. Both emphasize what a miracle our brain is. Did you know that the world’s fastest supercomputer requires 24 million watts of power to operate, but our brain only requires 20 and is a hundred thousand times faster than a computer? I wonder why we are dumbing ourselves by our dependence on the computer for everything. Why don’t we upgrade our own softwares by actively using our brain more?

Feeling Lazy

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It is only day 3 of the Ultimate Blog Challenge. I’m feeling lazy and sluggish with nary a thought or idea in my head. It is Wordless Wednesday -a day to share an image or images that speak for themselves. That should make an easy post, but I can’t even come up with any of interest. I did snap some photos of going through the carwash. I thought I could call it The Tunnel of Love. It would be perfect. We’re locked in and soaped up. Nobody could see in. But the photos were soapy and boring. The tunnel short – maybe all of 5 minutes.

Then I have my #the100dayproject wherein I paint a picture a day for 100 days. I’m sagging there, too, on day 44. I’m feeling lackadaisical, not in the mood. What to do? There’s no point in pouting. Nobody cares. I won’t give up. So I’ve prepped a small piece of watercolour paper with gesso. Waiting for it to dry. I am a wee bit motivated, having seen Paul Trottier’s art exhibit, Joy and Sorrow at St. Thomas More Gallery. I was quite moved by all his paintings. I hope it is enough to carry me through this slump.

I grasp at anything, however small, when malaise knocks me off my feet. A cup of coffee and a piece of toast is calling me. And I have to go and close the vents in the greenhouse. The temperature is going down. It has been a warm day with a high of 19℃. Most of the snow are gone. I had the shade cloth down and 5 vents opened. It’s been above 30℃ most of the afternoon. Now it is 24℃. Time to raise the cloth and close up.

Use It or Lose It

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Whew! Finally sitting down at the end of the day. I’ve been a busy little bee since morning. It’s so easy for me to sit and read or scroll, thinking I’m learning and gathering information. I’ve been doing that for ages. I’m not sure how much I’ve put all I have learned into use though. Now having learned from Jim Kwik that learning is an action, I’m going to be more active instead of just sitting around and accumulating info.

The saying use it or lose it is very true. That is why I like the regular practice of writing. I’m exercising my brain in the use of words, their spelling, how to express and idea, etc., etc. I work out at the gym three times a week to keep my body strong and moving well. It is also good for the mind and spirit. They also get a workout by my going out in the world where there are other people. I learn how to socialize and function with people.

I was working early in the greenhouse early this morning. The newly planted snowpeas and spinach are looking well. I seeded some lettuce and Swiss Chard. This is the first late start for me. Other years I would have had lots of big seedlings of tomatoes and other things already. I have to admit that I have not been all that excited this spring. You can lose excitement, too, if you don’t practice it. I think I’m okay now. I am recovering it.

I made a batch of fermented beets this afternoon. We had a big crop of that, potatoes and carrots the past fall. It’s one thing growing them but it’s another to look after them. If you don’t use them, you lose them. Then what a waste of our time and energy of this one life we have, eh. I think I’ve past the critical stage. I’ve saved myself and not losing it. So ends the second day of the Ultimate Blog Challenge. I can now relax and let myself go to pots.

A Wakening

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April 1, Fool’s Day and first day of the April Ultimate Blog Challenge. I’ve signed up again, committing to write a post a day for the month. It’s a good practice for the brain and the spirit. As usual I have no plans as I have no business or products to promote. I am going to show up each day and chat. Hopefully I will have a rapt audience. Why not, eh? One should aim for the moon, if one is going to aim at all.

It is Easter Monday. I wonder if it is the day Jesus rose from the dead. I like to think so. Easter has lost much of its meaning for me. I felt a flatness where once I felt a reverence all through Lent to the whole of Easter. Not this year or last year. I have not notice whence it disappeared. But today, I feel a bit of quickening, a wakefulness, a tiny bit of interest and joy from within. Perhaps, like Jesus, I’m rising from the dead, the deadness of the spirit.

I feel spring is finally here. I think I hear the running of the sap. Maybe it’s my own blood circulating. The sun is shining bright. My planted seeds are germinating and bursting forth. The greenhouse is 30+℃ with 2 vents opened. I’m looking forward to planting my snowpeas later in the day when it is a bit cooler. I will not have to worry and fuss about temperatures dropping below 0 at night. I am a happy camper.

It is an auspicious start for the month. I am hopeful, my flatness and glumness dispelled. Time to wrap up, have a snack and tackle the greenhouse.