Traps and Crap

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I’m looking at a bright and shiny Sunday April 21 morning. It is -2℃ outside and 7.3℃ in the greenhouse. My head feels pretty clear. I’m tackling the day before it’s gets messed up with useless crap from scrolling. I have already wasted time on Youtube watching to see who is the love of Brad Pitt’s life. It was a trap. It never said, just went on and on with the parade of women.

I am often lured by such tricks. Such is my curiosity about such things. I’m finally asking myself the question WHY? Why do I have to get to the bottom of things? What is the payoff? So what if I know the answer? I’m finally wise enough to know that mostly it doesn’t matter a squat. Knowing will not enhance my life. And sometimes/most of the time, there are no bottoms to get to. Quit wasting my time. It’s better to live my life instead of wondering about other people’s.

Yesterday, I started the arduous task of tending to this one life that I have. There’s so much of it tied up in paper. I have been gathering and shovelling them into my file cabinet. Others I have just left on my desk, gathering dust. A recent death of a colleague/friend touched my heart and mind, reminding me that life is a business that I must look after. Though afraid, I opened the cabinet door and envelopes and looked within. After an hour, I was left exhausted and with a headache. More to do today and the day after and after. Feeling not quite so afraid.

NEW BEGINNINGS

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Happy New Year. It’s January 1, 2024. It’s the first day of the year. It’s the first day of the rest of my life. It’s also the first day of the Ultimate Blog Challenge. So many firsts. So many new beginnings, opportunities and adventures. These are the things I will be writing about this month. Why am I doing the challenge?

I love the physical act of writing. I love tapping on the keyboard and see the letters march across the screen. It soothes and smooths me. Writing is how I restore the order in my brain. Otherwise it’s a frigging mess of mumble jumble. It helps me find my way out of a wet paper bag. So now you know. I write for my mental health.

There are rules in this challenge. I have to write a post a day. Then if I want to be in the daily thread/queue, I have to read the 2 posts above mine and make comments on each. I like rules. They make for good discipline. Being in a challenge makes it accountable. There are perks also. It gives me community. I meet and get to know other bloggers. I learn from their knowledge.

I like to succeed in showing up each day in January. I’m making attainable goals. It helps that I have chosen words for the new year. 1. Be brilliant. 2. Resilience. It’s a brilliant way of starting a new year and challenge. They give me something to strive for.

WHY?

You wonder how and why a 17 year old male could open fire at a high school in Sante Fe today. He killed 10 people and injured another 10. You wonder how this could happen so soon after the Florida high school shooting where 17 people were killed. Of course mental health plays into it. But without weapons of mass destruction, there would be less young lives lost. What would it take to stop all this? Some of the answers are quite simple but why are the lawmakers so unwilling?

It’s politics, I know but it’s not something I can understand. I’ve listened and heard all the rhetorics on how all life is sacred, even the unborn fetus. There’s interest groups that abhors abortion and would protest vigorously and violently against it. But what about the lives that are already born?

It’s late, I know for such musings and questions. I’ve just watched the news. No, it is not a good idea to watch it just before bedtime. There’s really  no good time to watch such news. But it is a waker upper, making me feel totally bizarre. WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH US? As Caroline Myss would say, STOP IT. Go put your head in the toilet for 7 minutes. Chill or take a pill. It’s too late for therapy when a 17 or however old person has a gun/guns in his hands.

Sorry, just a bit late night ranting. Trying to find a bit of sanity in a mad, mad world. Sometimes it’s not a bad idea to scream. I’ve done my share. My throat is a bit sore from it all. I will say good night now.