Tag Archives: well-being

Let Go a little, Live a Little

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Some days I am just sick of everything. Today is one of those days. I am sick to death of the Epstein files, Deepak Chopra and Donald Trump. I am also sick of myself for not being able to resist on clicking on those links. I’m so disappointed that we are all such flawed human beings.

That was yesterday. Today I am really sick with scratchy throat and coughing. I am not feeling bad yet. Here’s the hope that it will pass quickly with endless cups of chrysanthemum tea, lozenges and tylenol. I am trying to improve my mental outlook, too. I can’t heal feeling pissed about everything. So, I’m pulling up my socks and cleansing my thoughts. But first I have to say this. I really do not like all those feel good ‘gurus’ who are suppose to inspire us. I can’t believe that I was such a huge fan of Oprah back in the good old days. Now I can’t stand the sight of her and her gushy gushy ways. She was more real when she was fat.

I’m trying to rescue myself from the misery I find myself in today. I no longer believe or trust anyone else with my own well-being. We are all capable of deceiving ourselves and others for whatever and any reasons. I’m disappointed in learning this at this late stage in life. But it’s better late than never. I’m having another cup of chrysanthemum tea while the roomba robot vacuum is sweeping the kitchen floor. It’ll be nice to walk on a smooth instead of a gritty floor. Physical comfort is conducive to well-being.

I will not attempt any heroic measures in self-improvement today. I will try to accept myself as I am. Maybe that in itself is a heroic act. I am into #the100project today. My plan was to sew a logcabin quilt block a day. I’ve only done 3 ½ blocks so far. I take challenges seriously. This definitely is not up to my standard. Maybe it’s time and good that I lower my standards a little. Let go and live a little would make a good motto. I’ve proven I can live up to challenges for many years now. Last year I drew and painted 100 teacups, the year before I did 100 sketches from our family album. I’ve proven my mettle. I don’t need to do it anymore.

TALKING PASSION

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Funny that I have been thinking about passions today. What’s funny about it? I was bored. Maybe that’s what led me to be thinking about passion. I was lacking and I want it back. I could say that well being and happiness are on top of my passion list. I’m sure that they are on everyone’s. Not that I am unwell or that I’m unhappy, but I have found both quite slippery and evasive. They’re always slip sliding away. I’m tired and fed up with their elusiveness.

The wind continues to blow. It sounds like some old lady whining. It sounds like me. I woke up with a bad taste in my mouth. I felt ‘unwell’ for lack of a better description. I’m tired and fed up with myself, too. It’s not how I want to be. I decided then that I was not going to put up with it. No sirree. You know what? I felt better after making the decision.Sometimes it works. Now the trick is to sustain it.

I thought I would give it my best thought shot. I’ve read Breaking The Habit of Being Yourself a couple of months ago. I must apply what I’ve learned. No point in just gathering and hording. I must use the information. I must move. I must think different thoughts. I am well and physically fit. I can work up a sweat in my exercise class. It is good for my heart. There’s no need for worry and fear. I will not break nor collapse. I will get stronger.

It’s a start. Not only am I trying to think differently. I will also try to speak differently. It will be difficult. Another slippery slope. I recognize it. After almost a life time of thinking, speaking and reacting in certain ways, it will not be easy to break the pattern. But I have a thirst for learning. I am willing. That is the purpose of life for me, to learn from mistakes. I’ve never been able to stay down for long. I never knew how. I always get up. I must have a passion for living.

It’s getting late. I must head off to bed. I find I can get to sleep easier if I go early rather than late. Perhaps I can come back tomorrow with more on passion. What are your thoughts on passion?