LOVE HAS NO EXPIRY DATE

Morning has broken like the first morning again. Sunshine coming through the clouds as I sit here tapping out the words. I hope they will flow smoothly. I was sitting thus yesterday when we got a surprise visit from a friend and his dog. I was a little confused at first. With his mask on, he looked exactly like the guy. He was coming up the deck stairs. I was face to face with him through the window. He held up his coffee from Robin’s Doughnuts and I wondered why he went out and bought me a coffee. And how did he get out without me noticing. All this must have flashed across my face. He pulled down his mask. That’s when I noticed Mabel, the dog.

Ir was a beautiful sunny morning. The guys had a good visit outside. I got to play with Mabel. She’s friendly and energetic, alot like Sheba. She was better behaved though, not running off. Perhaps it was because she had a better trainer/owner. We had a little walk down the back alley, Mabel sniffing and smelling everything. I was surprised by how familiar and comforting it felt. I was surprised by the softening and opening of my heart, by the joy that rushed in. In 9 days it will be a year since Sheba’s departed this earthly world. Love has no expiry date. It was good to experience it again – unconditional love.

I’m misty eyed by the memories and feelings. They’re happy, soft and loving ones. They’re thoughts to nourish and sustain one through the not so easy days. Sheba and I had 14 years of loving, adventures and learning together. I couldn’t ask for more. I believe in the words from Tennyson:

I hold it true, whate’er befall;
I feel it when I sorrow most;
‘Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.

LIFE ANEW

Tomorrow will be 9 weeks since Sheba’s left. Before Covid-19 I remembered Saturday mornings for swimming and breakfast at A & W. Now it is the day Sheba went to heaven. I am a tad sad. How could I not be? But mostly I’m grateful for the wonderful years I’ve had with her. In this moment those years seem so short. They sped by in a blink of an eye.

This month of July is going fast too. August is almost here. 7 more days for the Ultimate Blog Challenge. I have mostly shown up for it. It is serving my purpose. I am reaching my goals and beyond. I am recovering the lost bits and pieces of myself that I valued. I am in love again with the beauty and magic of the word. I know and respect its power. I am disengaging from the badassed neighbour’s energy.

I’ve been doing my homework on learning all I can about narcissists by watching Dr. Les Carter’s videos on surviving narcissism. There’s a wealth of helpful information. I’ve been getting alot of aha moments today. Bing! Bing! Bing! Moments of insight I never had before. And I go, wow! That’s why I’ve been having such a difficult time not only with my neighbour but other people as well. I’m seeing that we all have narcissism in ourselves. It’s all a matter of degree and kinds.


It is Saturday today – the day Sheba left 9 weeks ago. I’m adjusting and adapting to my new reality. I’m doing fine but it is a bit of a job. I’ve been learning huge lessons. Feeling so fortunate to have the experience of unconditional love of my fur baby. I wonder if it is possible to have the same with another human being. It gives me a reference guide when I’m having trouble with people.

I have so much I want to share from what my study of narcissists. I’m having difficulty in articulating today. I will have to leave it for another post. What I like about Dr. Les Carter’s videos is that he does not talk about retaliation, getting even. He emphasizes on anchoring down on things that are important to you – simple moments of enjoying music, art, service to people, being a voice of goodness to others. I will heed and experiment with his advice. Let go of ideal plans and think of what am I going to do with my day.

 

NOTE TO SELF

I’m tap, tapping from prompts offered by Kat McNally’s #AprilMoon and Susannah Conway’s aprillove2015.  I’m careful of my words.  They can send powerful messages to the mind.  We know what tricks the mind can play on us.  So pay heed what you say and think.  I’m often guilty of not paying attention and let every wisp of smoke get in. That smoke smoulders and flares into flames.  Before you know it, there is a raging fire.

Let me take care and form my thoughts carefully.

#aprillove2015

#aprillove2015

Good morning, self.  It’s a beautiful morning.  See how the light dances on the wall.  Feel it kissing your sweet face.  It is blessing you with its healing warmth.  Bask and luxuriate in its arms.  The morning will pass fast enough.  In the meantime, enjoy the peace and quietness.

You are the child of the Universe.   You are loved and cherished.  Be happy for you are as you should be.  Feel blessed by the love and goodness in your life.  Be grateful for your riches.  Be strong in your faith.  Be forgiving in your heart.  Be generous of the spirit.  Above all else, love yourself – no matter what.

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Now I lay myself down to sleep.  Goodnight self.  Close your eyes.  Empty your thoughts and smooth your brow of care.  You have worked hard and done your best today.  Now it is time to rest.  Let the sandman sprinkle magical dust onto your eyes.  Sweet dreams, my dear.