I’m looking at a bright and shiny Sunday April 21 morning. It is -2℃ outside and 7.3℃ in the greenhouse. My head feels pretty clear. I’m tackling the day before it’s gets messed up with useless crap from scrolling. I have already wasted time on Youtube watching to see who is the love of Brad Pitt’s life. It was a trap. It never said, just went on and on with the parade of women.
I am often lured by such tricks. Such is my curiosity about such things. I’m finally asking myself the question WHY? Why do I have to get to the bottom of things? What is the payoff? So what if I know the answer? I’m finally wise enough to know that mostly it doesn’t matter a squat. Knowing will not enhance my life. And sometimes/most of the time, there are no bottoms to get to. Quit wasting my time. It’s better to live my life instead of wondering about other people’s.
Yesterday, I started the arduous task of tending to this one life that I have. There’s so much of it tied up in paper. I have been gathering and shovelling them into my file cabinet. Others I have just left on my desk, gathering dust. A recent death of a colleague/friend touched my heart and mind, reminding me that life is a business that I must look after. Though afraid, I opened the cabinet door and envelopes and looked within. After an hour, I was left exhausted and with a headache. More to do today and the day after and after. Feeling not quite so afraid.
A cool but sunny morning. I couldn’t get my early morning fix in the greenhouse. The door was frozen. No way it would budge. I had to wait a couple of hours for it to warm up from 5+℃ to 10+℃ before I could get in. Everything is hunky dory in there. And in a short time the temperature went up to 10.5℃.
Talking about hunky dory, some people might not know what I’m talking about, especially the younger crowd. Hmmm. I’m aging myself. I was surprised that my nephews didn’t know what going to the biffy meant. (bathroom) So I was greatly amused to read a friend’s post on FB about this. I have to share it.
No wonder generations don’t understand each other: Heavens to Mergatroyd! The other day a not so elderly (I say 75) lady said something to her son about driving a Jalopy; and he looked at her and said, “What the heck is a Jalopy?” He had never heard of the word jalopy! She knew she was old …But not that old. Well, I hope you are Hunky Dory when you read this and chuckle. About a month ago, I illuminated some old expressions that have become obsolete because of the inexorable march of technology. These phrases included: Don’t touch that dial; Carbon copy; You sound like a broken record; and Hung out to dry. Back in the olden days we had a lot of moxie . We’d put on our best bib and tucker, to straighten up and fly right. Heavens to Betsy! Gee whillikers! Jumping Jehoshaphat! Holy Moley! We were in like Flynn and living the life of Riley ; and even a regular guy couldn’t accuse us of being a knucklehead, a nincompoop or a pill. Not for all the tea in China! Back in the olden days, life used to be swell, but when’s the last time anything was swell? Swell has gone the way of beehives, pageboys and the D.A.; of spats, knickers, fedoras, poodle skirts, saddle shoes, and pedal pushers. Oh, my aching back! Kilroy was here, but he isn’t anymore. We wake up from what surely has been just a short nap, and before we can say, “Well, I’ll be a monkey’s uncle!” Or, “This is a fine kettle of fish!” We discover that the words we grew up with, the words that seemed omnipresent, as oxygen, have vanished with scarcely a notice from our tongues and our pens and our keyboards. Poof, go the words of our youth. Where have all those great phrases gone? Long gone: Pshaw, The milkman did it. Hey! It’s your nickel. Don’t forget to pull the chain. Knee high to a grasshopper. Well, Fiddlesticks! Going like sixty. I’ll see you in the funny papers. Don’t take any wooden nickels. Wake up and smell the roses. It turns out there are more of these lost words and expressions than Carter has liver pills. This can be disturbing stuff! (Carter’s Little Liver Pills are gone too!) Leaves us to wonder where Superman will find a phone booth. See ya later, alligator! After a while crocodile. Oki-Doki artichokey
So how’s everybody on this fine Saturday morning? 10 days left for the Ultimate Blog Challenge. 10 days left to do my taxes. Yike!
The snow has finally stopped. The sun is making a showing. The greenhouse stayed above 0, the lowest temperature being 5.6℃. I can breathe a sigh of relief. The thought of losing all the seedlings was a bit distressing. I think that’s all behind me now. The greenhouse is now sitting at 22.8℃. The top vents have opened a little. I took in 2 pails of snow to melt.
Today I’m working on keeping a beginner’s mind. What the heck is that? you might query. It is to look at something or situation as if for the first time. For me, it is having an open or no mind, having no judgement and bringing no past feelings and experiences to the present moment. It is a very hard concept to understand first and then to practice it. I will probably fail many times. Then have to try and try again many times. I succeeded today, thus saving myself some misery. The effort was very worth it.
It helps to think of a beginner’s mind as a child’s mind. Children don’t have any expectations, preconceived notions, or past experiences to limit their view of a situation. They also have endless curiosity towards something new and are open and eager to learn. They are opened to a world of possibilities. I like to watch them at play. They teach me alot about being in the moment and making a concerted effort.
When I woke up this morning it was still snowing and the wind still blowing. It is still. The snow is piled up against the greenhouse door again. The two pails of snow I took in yesterday did not amount to much when melted. All is cosy inside, the roof being insulated with the cover of snow. The little heater is running. The temperature barely 6℃. Being no sun yesterday there was no residual heat built up to help the heater. As long as it’s above 0 that is good enough.
While not feeling stressed, I am not exactly ecstatic or joyful. I wonder how the plants are feeling in these times of climatic change. I will pay close attention. They might teach me the art of resilience by how they grow and perform. It will give me a sense of purpose in observing and helping them to thrive. We are all connected. We need plants as much as we need other people to survive. It’s a symbiotic relationship.
I’m deciding what to do with my #100dayproject – of a daily painting for 100 days. I’ve done up to day 58. I’m tired and not so enthused any more. I feel I’m regressing, my colours muddy. Perhaps it’s fatigue talking. I can paint simpler things. I can also take longer. I can also quit if it doesn’t bring me joy. That’s what Marie Kondo would say.
I am still surviving the Ultimate Blog Challenge. I’m learning changing the time I come to the keyboard makes a difference.
Beginning is the toughest thing to do. There are many things I want and need to do but how do I start? Often I am overwhelmed with indecision. I waste much time fiddling and twiddling, pacing and drinking tea. It’s a habit hard to fix. I have had it for so long that it is woven into my very fabric. I am not a planner. I live by the seat of my pants. I have no concrete plans for anything.
Perhaps I could make some changes to make life easier. I’ve done well so far winging it but I could do better if I sit down and write down whatever it is I want. Then break it down in simple small steps on how to get there. That would be a plan. We’re halfway through the Ultimate Blog Challenge. I can start working on making plans for the second half. I found a few famous quotes to inspire me.
“It takes as much energy to wish as it does to plan.” – Eleanor Roosevelt.
“By Failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail.” – Benjamin Franklin
Give me six hours to chop down a tree and I will spend the first four sharpening the axe.” – Abraham Lincoln
“If you don’t know where you are going, you’ll end up someplace else.” – Yogi Berra
The more time you spend contemplating what you should have done…you lose valuable time planning what you can and will do.” – Lil Wayne
How I do start the day is always with my morning tea. I used to meditate with 20 minutes of sitting meditation with Mark Williams on Youtube. I’ve given that up and play Wordle and Spelling Bee instead. My brain wants to busy. It feels wasteful doing nothing. I’m not sure it’s a good thing. At least I am not subscribing to play so the time is very short. I guess I do have a mental plan of limiting myself.
It’s another Wordless Wednesday in the blog world. Wish I have some fantastic photos. It would save labouring to get the words out. Alas! My yen for photo shots disappeared sometimes this year. Where it went I do not know. I hope it comes back. I miss the pleasure it gave me. The most recent pleasure that registered with me was getting my new Cosori electric kettle. I love getting a fast cup of hot water for my tea.
I’m not in any bad way or mood. The day is rather overcast and windy. The greenhouse vents hardly opened at all today. The guy had the automatic openers installed yesterday. They save me from trotting back and forth to open and close the vents. I hadn’t minded the exercise but I don’t miss it either. I used the saved energy in sorting out my seed piles. I hang on to everything, very old, old and not so old. The mess was making my head crazy. I had to sit down to sort and discard. Still have alot to sort but making some progress. My head doesn’t feel quite hairy.
I found some seeds I ordered last year but haven’t opened. They are now and seeded. I’m looking forward to some catnip and sesame. I hope I won’t attract all the neighbourhood cats. My sister says that her cat and the neighbour’s cat really love her catnip. She has it in a planter on her deck. Her cat rolls her head in it and the neighbour’s cat tried to rip it out of the pot. Cat pot! I guess they get high on it.
I registered another pleasure just now. I see that the comfrey has germinated. Well, I see one green head poking through the soil. While comfrey has many uses, I am growing it to use as mulch for the garden and to make compost tea to enhance the health of the soil. I’ve learned all this from watching all those gardening videos on Youtube. You can learn just about anything on Youtube. Well, that is it, that is all for this 10th day of the Ultimate Blog Challenge.
Morning and I have risen. I had such high hopes that I could sit down and whip out a post for today’s Ultimate Blog Challenge. But no such luck. I’m stuck in the eclipse of my mind and yesterday. We didn’t see much of the eclipse here in Saskatchewan. It reached 41% at maximum and was gone in an hour.
Not having the proper eyewear, we did not look at the sun. We experienced the clouds. Because I’m such a weather vane, I was paying attention to see how the eclipse would affect me. I felt no noticeable effects most of the day until the sun came out full force in late afternoon. I was hit with a headache accompanied by a chill. A tylenol and glass of wine at supper eased my discomfort. I had a good night’s sleep.
Now it is 2 in the afternoon. In my stuck-for-words time, I had soaked 4 more kinds squash seeds. Time is getting away on me. I got too relaxed in my seeding planning. Now trying to catch up before it’s too late. I cannot afford to nor do I not want to waste time in being stuck. I try to do something else in the meantime. So in the meantime I’ve also painted my little creation for today’s #the100dayproject. I wasn’t super motivated but it required little effort in moving muddles of paint around. And voila – a picture. Looks like I painted mysel or how I felt!
It’s day 8 of the Ultimate Blog Challenge and I got day 48 of #the100dayproject under my belt. These challenges are working for me. Putting my commitments in writing and making them visible make me more accountable. It’s strengthing my perseverance muscle. When I feel myself reverting to my old ways or thinking of doing it, something inside gives me pause. In my mind’s eye, I see my written words. And I am saved from falling into the same hole again.
I need not to paint a master piece or write a great piece that will go viral. Something small will do just as well in keeping me moving along. I’ve been going into the greenhouse daily in the mornings. Sometimes I just want to have a look around. Other mornings I plant a few seedlings before the call for breakfast. In a few days a whole bed is planted with snowpeas, spinach, radish and Gai Lan (Chinese broccoli). The overcast sky this morning was perfect for transplanting. The young seedlings will take better without a hot sun.
Pausing works for turning around my bad attitude. I hear my whine and grump. It doesn’t sound so nice. It’s voiced but it doesn’t have to continue. I can stop and say I’ll be better the next time.
It’s day 6 of the Ultimate Blog Challenge. Only 24 more days to go and 54 more days for #the100dayproject. I’m experiencing a malaise and a dip in my spirit. In these moments I wonder why I put these commitments upon myself. It would be so much easier if I go with the flow. It would be but I do know where that could lead – stagnation. And it is just not me – to go with the flow. I’m prickly, sometimes known as an eccentric person.
What I need when malaise hits is action. Though I don’t advocate shopping on Amazon as a solution, that’s what I did. I bought an electric kettle and Lyn Slater’s book on How to Be Old. I was waiting for the paperback version but I decided I need to read it now. So ping! Now it’s on my Kindle. Not sure how useful it will be. Not alot of super reviews on Goodreads.What triggered my dippy mood is reminders of aging and what that could mean. I had a visit with my 92 year old mother yesterday. The conversation was largely about aging, declining strength, vitality and meaning of life. It left me feeling blue and deflated, wondering on how to age well. That’s when I remembered Lyn Slater, the accidental icon.
It’s good that the morning was sunny. I’ve started my daily early morning visits to the greenhouse before breakfast. Today I transplanted my radishes into the bed. After I thought I better do my stretches before I lose my oomph. It’s the first time in many months that I have no pain in my left foot. I had plantar fasciitis since before Christmas. Just as it was finally resolving, I stubbed my little toe on the same foot. Took 5 weeks for it to heal. I am motivated to keep pain away by doing my daily stretches.
Now it is almost 4 in the afternoon. We took a little drive out of the city to Crossmount to look at some paintings and pottery on display. We had some dessert at the restaurant and walked around outside after. There was quite a few people out enjoying the sunshine and the cider house. I’m feeling refreshed and renewed.
My wish for rain came true. It’s cloudy as can be with rain coming down. It’s as if the whole world is weeping. There is that much sadness in the world but I must not give into that sadness. I must use it to inspire myself into better. I must pull myself up by the bootstraps. When inspiration does not work, there’s the perspiration of hard work. It works. It’s in the mindset.
I’m off on a better start today. It helps to know and accept oneself. I have. Knowing that I feels things deeply and have the propensity for melancholia, I’ve always have had to work hard to maintain a positive outlook. Good cheer and energy does not come naturally to me. I have learned to compensate for the lack. Perhaps it’s not such a bad thing. Having to work for it have built good habits and resilience in me. I do worry about maintaining it as I age.
My saving graces are my love of learning and self-improvement. I have this thirst for knowledge and how to do better. I’ve been reading Jim Kwik’s Limitless and Stan Goldberg’s Preventing Senior Moments: How to Stay Alert into Your 90s and Beyond. Both emphasize what a miracle our brain is. Did you know that the world’s fastest supercomputer requires 24 million watts of power to operate, but our brain only requires 20 and is a hundred thousand times faster than a computer? I wonder why we are dumbing ourselves by our dependence on the computer for everything. Why don’t we upgrade our own softwares by actively using our brain more?
onethousandandtwo 