August days can be perfect days. August days can be trying days. Clouds and sun chased each other all day, each determined to outshine and out shadow the other. They have been playing havoc with my mind and mood for the last couple of days. Charlotteville and now Barcelona add their drama to the mix.
How do you tackle these days, whether they be in summer, spring, winter or fall? I haven’t had to deal with them for quite awhile. My year of doing different must be making a difference. Even though I’m not feeling terrific, I am feeling a sense of accomplishment. I still have desires and purpose. I am feeling annoyed I got tripped up though. But then I am human. There are no perfection in this journey.
What I can and will do is to sit with my feelings and tap out my words. They are but physical discomforts. I will feel them, observe and let them be. I will carry on with this experience a little slower and with more attention. In the past, my first instinct was to rid these feelings as fast and as soon as possible. It didn’t really work. It has to bide its own sweet time. It demands to be acknowledged and felt.
This is what I am doing – acknowledging and feeling with every tap, tap. I have turned off the television, silencing the reporting of our human horror drama we are living in. We are in tumultuous times. We can hear a pin as soon as it’s dropped. The world is at our back door. We can no longer ignore anything.
But life is still sweet. The sun rises and sets as always. There’s the total solar eclipse to look forward to on August 17th. I’m breathing in and out, getting up, dressing up and showing up. Sometimes I fake it till I make it. But my fakes are getting better and better. I could do with less verbalizing. It usually doesn’t help much. Sometimes it makes me feel worse. It happens. That happens. But I feel pretty good about my accomplishments today. Painting and baking are good things to do on a day like today.