Tag Archives: showing up no matter what

Meditation Friday (#NaBloPoMo)

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I’m struggling along this road of life, waking up in the dark of another November morning. I’m not at all steady and confident. I have fears and anxieties. Are they one and the same? It does not matter. You get my drift. I am not leaping with joy. I get up anyways, put on my pink fuzzy housecoat, turn up the furnace and head towards my bathroom. Another day of showing up and doing my best no matter what.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not feeling terrible. I am neither happy nor unhappy. I’m in that grey zone of resting and just observing. This morning I sat with my cuppa in the morning darkness, trying not to think, trying not to feel. I’m trying to cleanse my mind and body, letting go of the debris. It works for my computer. When I got rid of all my sites on my browser except the one I’m working on, it works much better and faster. Multi tasking is not good for us/me. Feeling too much is not good for me.

Slow tapping is good for me. I’m enjoying sitting here with it, my fingers on the keyboard, my feet vibrating on Dr. Ho’s Motionciser. I’m exercising fingers and feet. Not yet ready for more. The sun is out. It is 8℃ out. Maybe I will go and have a cuppa in front of the woodstove and catch some rays and serontonin. If I get cold, I can duck into the greenhouse to warm up.

MUTTERINGS ON A RAINY DAY

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Beginnings are damned hard! Look at how long we had to wait for the rain. There were days, weeks, months of possibilities of rain. It finally came today, our first real rain on this 20th day of June. We rushed onto the deck to witness and rejoice.

I feel somewhat akin to the dammed up sky, full of possibilites but unable to deliver. It’s a most uncomfortable and perplexing feeling. I’ve had days, weeks and maybe months of this. I hope I don’t have to wait till winter before I can unleash my whatever it is. It will be such a fury by then. I wonder if I’m a manic depressive. Hmm. Or it is just my ADHD symptons of trouble organizing and starting a task having a field day.

I’m trying to relax, gather and organize my thoughts so as not to waste time and energy going every which way. That is one of my handicaps. In between gaps here, I’ve vacuumed a couple of rooms and washed some Chinese broccoli for our lunch. My attention span is short and jerky. Doing some 4-7-8 breathing helps to relax and slow me down to concentrate better. The exercise has many other benefits of sleeping better, relieving anxiety and improving cardiovascular health. It takes only minutes in a day.

I have to make more of an effort in showing up here. I’ve said that a few times already, haven’t I? I know what to do but sometimes I can’t do it. I need a visual, physical written out agenda. That’s what this blog is for me, a roadmap, my GPS for my daily life. I need to get up, dress up, show up and tap here regularly for my mental and physical health. When I tap out my thoughts, wonderings, wishings, doings, it makes grooves and    pathways in my brain to guide me. They anchor and comfort me. I can see by the words, sentences and photos that I have not been idle and useless. I have been busy living my life as best as I can.

I’ve been feeling stuck, immobile, yucky and not getting anywhere. Sometimes feelings can be false and misleading. Somehow amidst all these feelings, I have put in a flower bed, a garden, raised vegetable beds, and a few flower pots here and there. The moral of the story is not to believe all your feelings. They can be your saboteurs.

SHOWING UP NO MATTER WHAT- Day 12 in a year of…

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Day 12, August 3, 2016 @ 6:47

IMG_6919God is in a mood – raining and thundering all day.  Still, it has been a good day.  Worth getting up, dressing up and showing up. Other people’s words can give me a light bulb moment. “No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.” has become my mantra.  It came from Regina Brett and her book, God Never Blinks.

That mantra has helped me day in, day out since I came upon it.  It makes so much sense.  If you don’t show up for yourself, who IMG_6904will?  If you don’t value yourself, who will?  So here I am – for another day. Dressed up, made up, earringed up, places to go and lots to do.

Life is good.  It can be hard but it can also be easy and simple.  Sometimes you can decide.  Today it is easy and simple.  Today is short and sweet.  I don’t have a lot to say.  I don’t need to say a lot.  Showing up is enough.  Till tomorrow.