Do you realize that no matter where we are, we are surrounded by signs….man-made or in nature.  Quite often, we are oblivious to them, walking right by, paying no attention.  That’s how we are, always in a hurry to the next event, even though we have a million and one ways of saying we should stop and smell the coffee.

We rush on by  not wanting to be left behind, not wanting to miss something important.  But we miss the sign to paradise.

And it is so for myself, too.  I am also guilty of being blind to the many signs around me.  It is difficult sometimes to finally see and admit that a change is necessary.  And so we delay and delay and justify and justify….afraid to let go.

I am seeing so clearly now.  There are so many signs to show me the way…. that    work is not fulfilling me, that it is not healthy for me to continue at the present mode.  I see that in the patients that we have been getting in the last few weeks.  They are truck drivers even younger than myself.  They all present the similar symptoms – overweight, diabetic, poor circulatory systems…in short – heart attacks on wheels.  And there are good reasons for their conditions…long hours behind the wheel, eating to keep awake, eating at truck stops, etc., etc. They have to make a living.

All those things are applicable to my profession, too.  I am often too tired from 12 hour shifts, from night shifts.  I am often too stressed to do even necessary things or things for enjoyment.  At other times, I’m so used to be stressed and tired, I’m uncomfortable being rested and not stressed.  Try to understand that!  And lately, I’m coming home angry.  Sometimes I need a big fat example of what I could become to get the message.  There’s a life outside hospital corridors.  There’s a whole wide world out there.  There’s other ways of serving.  Thirty plus years are enough.