Tag Archives: #real life

MY MUTTERINGS

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November 7, 2018

Winter is here. I think it means to stay this time. I’m feeling as lazy as can be. It’s a good feeling. It’s been a long time since I’ve felt this relaxed and restful. I have no urge ‘to create’ or do much of anything. Just good old ‘doing’ nuthing.’ I’m muttering and tapping on the keyboard here but I’m not driven with any ideas or messages. I’m just talking. Sheba has been pestering me to feed her early. She’s finally given up and is curled up with her stuffed toys.

I’m relishing my laziness. I’m remembering those good old days when we had time to sit with each other, have coffee and chat. Why don’t we have time now? We have gained so much with technology and yet we have lost so much to it. We have lost our slow living to fast and expedient doings. I fear we have lost the art of visiting and talking in real life and slow time. I should not speak in the ‘we’. Maybe it is just me who has lost the knack.

November 10, 2018

As you can see, I have grown lazy. I’ve abandoned my habit of showing up here every day. I’ve lost the knack for chit chat. I’ve been overwhelmed with all my doings of living – things I HAVE to do and things I like to do. There’s always a painting, an embroidery, and all those books calling my name. And of course, there’s always Sheba. I’m a little burnt, crisp on the edges. I needed to pull back, let go of some things. I need to be more organized.

It is not easy. Today I feel as if I haven’t done much but I don’t feel rested or peaceful. I’ve spent way too much time researching threads and stabilizers for embroidery on Amazon. There’s so many choices. I went back and forth, reading and reading reviews. After much ado and wasted energy, I did finally place my order. Now I am spent. I hope I will be happy with the products when they come.

Everything is a learning experience. I will not be so distracted and expend so much effort next time. I will just choose expediently and be done with it. Learning a new skill and a new machine is kind of painful. I am still happy I bought my Bernina. After 10 months I can read the manual and understand it. Sometimes I feel like I’m learning how to do surgery. It’s worth it. Now I have to tend to my headache.

HASH TAG – REAL LIFE HAPPENS

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I’ve let go of some of my routine and habits. Seemed like a good idea at the time. I thought I would relax a little and ‘let go’. I’ve let go too much. I’m having trouble getting my discipline back. It’s time to walk my furry baby but I don’t want to do that either. I must. It’s her birthday. She got her birthday chew. I can’t deprive her of her walk. Guilt will get me going – after I finish my tea. Heavy big sigh.

How did I get to this spot? It’s like pulling teeth getting things done. The arthritis in my left hand is not helping. It’s almost 4 months now. Some days it is not bad. Then it’s not good the last 2 days. My ring finger is swollen and bent. I spend moments straightening and massaging it. Otherwise, it would seize up and I would have to snap it open. Ouch! Ah, I better take a tylenol. Time to take Sheba out.

I tanked out after Sheba’s birthday walk yesterday. My discipline has gone to the dogs. Not a good thing. Real life happens. I don’t want it to go on for much longer. It doesn’t feel good, this lethargy. I feel as if I’ve lost all ambition and resolve. I feel as if I’ve lost purpose. I want to say, What is the point? The world is on the brink of destruction. The fires burn on. Violence continues. We are a selfish specie. We only care about the me, I and myself. We only care about money and stuff.

Clearly one thing I need to change is my self talk and my vocabulary. I am thinking and talking myself into a blue streak. I have to keep some blinds open and let natural light in. Maybe I can paint some blue skies to counter the clouds and smoke. Real life sucks sometimes but that’s life. I must be doing some things right. I am not behind with life. My bills are paid up. My car is serviced. Doctor and dental checkups done. I have family and a few friends. I have some junk cluttering my surfaces but nothing that would shock your socks off if you pay me an unexpected visit.

By my own accounts, I must be doing okay. I went to my exercise class this morning. I can still talk and interact with people. Somebody gave me some rhubarb muffins. Another some cucumbers. I harvested 2 more spaghetti squash from the raised garden bed. I already have 5 in the basement. I made lunch. Dishes are not done but soaking. I think I’m just going through a life bump. I’ll be back to ‘normal’ in a bit. No worries.