Tag Archives: my goal

Not Drowning

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I’ve been warned by WordPress that I’m over my limit for media files since I’ve reverted back to a free plan. I have to delete alot of already uploaded photos or pay. Otherwise I will be blocked if I try to use any photos already uploaded. Since I’m just limping along here, I will keep it simple in just words. I’m drowning most days in inertia and overwhelm, I don’t need the added stress. So it’s plain Jane writing from now on till….

I just hate this feeling of inertia and overwhelm. It makes me want to throw up. Yet, it is very difficult to discard and overcome. I had to do alot of heaving this morning to work it out in my head, then will my body to move. Gravity is a heavy thing. I’ve been in #the100dayproject now for over a month. I’ve been drawing and painting teacups for over a month. It’s become a habit so that is something I started the morning with. Once the inertia is broken, it is easier to keep moving.

I was able to keep moving, setting up the Roomba for 2 bedrooms and a bathroom. Meanwhile, I ran the dust mop in the livingroom, diningroom and kitchen. I did not aim for a perfect clean. Good enough is good enough. My goal this year is to keep from drowning, to keep my nose above the waterline. Now I’m here tapping on the keyboard, warming up these fingers, practicing, finding words and sentences to keep going for April.

MY CUP OF TEA

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It’s April 1 and Fool’s Day. It is the first day of the Ultimate Blog Challenge wherein we are required to write a post/day for the month and share it on the UBC Facebook page. There are a few rules and not hard to abide. I’ve been participating for quite a few years now because I love the challenge of showing up every day for a set month. I love words and writing. Tapping on my keyboard is a meditation for me. I have no set format or theme for this month. My goal is to show up every day and ‘chat’. Perhaps it is not your cup of tea but it is mine.

The rhythm of my fingers on the keyboard soothes and smooths me. It makes me happy to see the letters and words march across the screen like good little soldiers. Perhaps that’s not such a good analogy. Soldiers remind me of war and there’s just too much of that in our world now. So axe that. I’m trying for a feel good month. That reminds me I have 30 days to file my income tax and it is time to pay this month’s bills. Writing brings up my memory list of have-to-do’s. It is good for my brain as well as emotional health.

I want to do and write my best for this challenge but I’m not going to kill myself doing it. April is a busy month. Aren’t all months busy and tough though? I’m going to do my best but I’m not participating in the thread this time around. It will relief the stress of have-tos and must. I generally do read more than 2 other posts in the challenge. I like to do that on my own schedule. It will also be nice to know that someone is reading my post because it caught their interest and not because they ‘had’ to.

Well, here’s luck to us all.

ON THE WORD TRAIN

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Good morning! Welcome aboard to this 2nd day of the Ultimate Blog Challenge. I hope you and I will stay on for the whole ride. I’ve been doing this for a few years now. I have enjoyed and survived most of the challenges, though I did fell off the train in October. Yestery, I climbed back on again. I heard Cat Stevens singing Peace Train in my head and I had to get back on. ” ‘Cause I’m on the edge of darkness. There ride the Peace Train. Oh, Peace Train take this country. Come take me home again.”

Yes, I’ve been on the edge of darkness and I’m riding this train home to the place that I belong. I’m in my chair. The keyboard is the tool of my command centre. And I am the conductor of this train. It’s good to feel in control again. I was lost, awashed without a shore to land on. It is such a comfort to feel the tap, tap beneath my fingertips. I feel anchored and grounded as I watch the letters and words march across my screen. This, then is my drug of choice, my SSRI (selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor). It takes me out of the dark tunnel and has very little undesirable side effects on me.

I’ve been on the word train on WordPress since 2002. I found it much easier to work with than Blogger. I write for the pure pleasure of putting words and pictures together. Words speak to me in pictures. Pictures speak to me in words. I’ve ridden my soul train through many posts/stations before I realize it was rocking and easing me through the storms of life. It was very good for my brain. I found the Ultimate Blog Challenge perhaps in 2014. In between I found other tribes in Friday Fictioneers and other writing challenges. It’s always good to have company on a long journey – to share a virtual cuppa, ideas and stories.

I can always use some help in organization, format, grammar, etc. I tend to plop down and write off the cuff. It’s no way to be a conductor and run a train. It is my goal that I will get to the final station on January 31 without derailing.