Tag Archives: making progress

MY SAVING GRACE

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I suppose now is not a good time to read a book about addiction, depression and things that go bump in the night. But the In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts came available on my Libby app and I couldn’t help myself. I am already hooked after a few pages. You could say that my passion is understanding our human-ness, what makes us tick and what doesn’t. In my next life, if I remember, I will choose something in psychology for a profession. In the now I am continuing my journey as a self-help junkie.

My saving grace has always been my thirst for knowledge and the belief that there is something we can do. I guess you can call that optimism. But it wasn’t till I was in my 40s before I realized that before I change my circumstances, I have to change my behavior/actions. I cannot just sit back, yearn and yearn and not do anything different. It would be like howling at the moon. That knowledge sat for quite awhile before I could put that into action. I am not a fast mover. I am the tortoise.

We know from the story of the story of the tortoise and the hare, the tortoise does get somewhere. And I have made some miles. In these early days of September, I am recognizing and understanding my symptoms of SAD. I understand and am a little kinder to myself. I try to be more active, be outdoors and in natural light more. It helps to have a plan for the day. Writing helps. Looking through my art journals gave me a shot of pleasure. I will have to bring out my paints, pens and brushes again. Then there’s my cross stitch kits and knitting. Knitting is very soothing, very much like tapping on the keyboard.

RIDING THE BUDDHIST BUS

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A bright sunny January afternoon. The temperature is still frigid at – 32 C. No complaints from me. I’m enjoying the last of the afternoon sun, tapping on my keyboard and sipping on a decaf. My busy Wednesday is over for another week. I’m doing proud. I’m staying on top of things. With a temperature of -36 C this morning, I did entertain thoughts of staying in pjs, having cups of hot chocolate and staying home.

I didn’t. I dressed up, bagged up and did the gym thing. I could have been more enthusiastic but I wasn’t. It didn’t affect the results. It was a good workout. Lots of sweats without smiles. Then it was home to cook some rice in the Instant Pot, throw some hamburgers on the frying pan and tossed a couple of slaw salads. I make do with what I have. I surprised myself with how organized I was. I caught the Number 6 bus to the U of S without having to run for it.

I’m making progress! Half way through the month/challenge, I have not faltered. I’m dotting all my i’s and crossing all my t’s. It feels good to pay attention to details, rules and such. I aspire to be as calm and unrushed as the instructor for my class on Buddhism. Even though someone banged on the classroom door, poked her head in and loudly ask if he will be done in 10 minutes, he kept his calm demeanor. Was not upset. Did not rush but calmly finished within the time. He is a Buddhist as well as an instructor.

It is very helpful to have a living person to emulate. More so when he is right in front of me. I’m paying attention, trying to catch all his words. It’s a perfect place to practice focus and listen. My mind tends to wander and meander every which way. Has it always been this bad? I find it difficult to concentrate. My ears are listening in different directions, my mind and brain thinking in another.

NO PYRAMID SCHEMES ANYMORE

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It’s late in the day. Another different beginning to this 10th post of the Ultimate Blog Challenge. It’s still the beginning of the month. It feels like it should be the end. That’s what a busy full day does to my mind. My head feels like a ball of barbed wire. Try watching that thought like a cloud floating in the sky! But I shall take a deep breath and let it out in a slow exhale. That’s better. I can loosen that ball of wire a bit.

I find most of life a bit of sweat. This morning it was but it was a good one, stepping high on the bench. It got my heart pumping and the endorphins circulating. Life feels good. It was followed by 20 minutes of strength training. Who could ask for anything more?

Now it is evening. I am tired from the day, the afternoon at the vet with Sheba and our usual walk when we got home. She likes her walk and I cannot deny her. It is good for both of us.

I’m still on track with 20 minutes of meditation in the morning. I had a few minutes to spare after to transplant the leggy broccoli seedlings into new pots. I’m dealing with each day’s mail as they come. I’m filing my little bits of paper, not letting them pile up like a pyramid. I am slowly making progress and changing my ways. Now it’s time to call it a day.