THE HEART OF MY JOURNEY – day 126 in a year of….

Day 126, November 28, 2016 @5:48 pm

It is again a very, very grey day.  The sun made no appearance.  En route to our exercise class, the morning seemed so bright and clear before me.  It felt rather strange.  I felt very good.  I thought, Wow!  I’m feeling like I could work a 12 hour shift.  That was just a feeling.  I don’t want to but I felt quite capable.  It must be my endorphins talking.

img_8071I’m into day 126 of my year of doing different.  I’m thinking I must be into the heart of my journey.  I’m feeling a bit DIFFERENT.  I’m feeling I could see the tree through the forest. It is quite euphoric though fleeting.  It is okay. I’m in a little clearing.  I have navigated my way through the darkness.  I’m not completely lost anymore.  I will chip away at the dense undergrowth.  I am sure there will be many more obstacles – rocks, roots, stumps, maybe even poison ivy and a monster or two.  For now, I am happy and secure in my little Eden.  I will enjoy and rest for the morrow.

 

BUSTING OUT OF MY WET PAPER BAG

Today is one of those chilly, grey late autumn days in Saskatchewan.  It is the kind of weather that I wouldn’t be able to find my way out of a wet paper bag, never mind traveling to the other side of the world,  if I didn’t set my mind to it.  Hmmm, I think I just got a light bulb moment!  I need to keep on setting my intentions – programing myself to do.

Sometimes I find the greyness seeping into my brain.  Sometimes, often it is difficult to get new ideas, do anything new.  You get into this rut of doing the same thing, eating the same meals, over and over.  You are so tire of it, but still CAN’T change.  Well, darn it all, there must be a way!

So this morning, I cooked a pot of steel cut oats and quinoa.  I threw in some diced ham.  It simmered on top of the stove while I read my mail and listened to Tara Brach and her wise and humorous Buddhist teachings.  It was very comforting and soothing way to start the day.  I was feeding my body and my soul.

As I made tea, my body said it needed a little more than just a bowl of porridge.  I needed another taste, another texture.  I cooked a soft-boiled egg.  It was PERFECT.  There was no denying it.  It was so soft and smooth and I was just delighted by it.  I am sure my endorphins got a huge kick start.

I am accounting and remembering, the greyness, my moods, my difficult spots, the things I do.  I am remembering the feelings and sensations of what works to bring me back to the center of the earth.