January 25, 2019  7:41 pm

It is later than I like. What should I talk about today? I feel a bit pressured, under the gun. Last night I dreamt that we were in Sri Lanka with my friend. We were at some kind of buffet. It was a bit weird as things are in dreams are. Most of the dishes were of some kind of rice. I didn’t have any Sri Lankan money. I didn’t buy any before the trip because I could get some from my friend, right? I woke up then. I told the guy about it. It reminded him that my friend had phoned yesterday when I was out. He had forgotten to tell me. That didn’t really surprised me. But what did was when I talked to my friend later in the morning. She said she was going to Sri Lanka on Sunday.

Oh, wow! I thought. I really should trust myself more in these matters. I’m the woman who saw ghosts when I was a little girl in China. I felt ghosts sitting and immobolizing me as an adult. I doubted myself, thinking they were just dreams. Once when it happened, I tried to prove I was awake and not dreaming. I blinked my eyes several times. I tried to scream but no sound came out. Then I tried to reach my bedside lamp to turn it on. I couldn’t quite reach my switch but I knocked it over. Or so I thought. Just then the pressure lifted and I could move freely. The lamp was still on the dresser, intact. I had felt my cat jumped off the bed when the lamp fell but it must have been my scream that sent it scampering. I will never know the truth of anything since I was alone in those times. I do now know that when I’m screaming silently in my dreams, they are not in the real world.

This afternoon I inadvertently found my safety deposit box. I asked the guy to move the VCR up from the basement to our upstairs TV. I went down to help him unhook it. My eyes landed on the teapot on the shelf above it. The knowing that the key could be there flash through my mind. Have you ever had those flashings. It’s just like in the comic books. I looked and fished around the teapot. Underneath some rolled up coins was the key. I would never have found it if I had gone on an intent search for it. Now I know to trust those feelings of mine.


Bummer! My left hip has been giving me some grief lately. It takes the pleasure out of going to the park with Sheba and everything else. Though I’ve cut our outings shorter and walking slower and with more care, I’m still suffering. I’m sure the weather is aggravating my arthritic bones. I can also feel my nasal and jaw bones aching. It’s all on my left side where I feel most of the tension. So a tylenol and some yoga later, I’m attending to business.

I had a dream again last night. I am sure I do it every night. Only most of the time I don’t remember. I couldn’t remember much this morning either but I knew I had dreamt. I was opened to let it come back to me. It did. It did not involve an intruder. It was rather mundane so no screaming. Talking about dreaming and screaming, I realize now that I do scream out loud. When I dreamt about ghosts sitting and paralyzing me, I felt I couldn’t get my screams out. In reality I must have screamed and screamed. That was scared the cat off the bed and NOT the ghost. I was living alone then. I had no idea.

Now that I’ve had supper and a glass of wine, my hip feels a bit better. I try not to favour it too much and get totally out of alignment. Already I’m walking like Charlie Chaplin without a cane. Some days are better than others but today was not a total loss. I did not get any transplanting seedlings done. Nor did I make it to swimming. But I did get to a class on quilting software at The Sewing Machine Store this morning. I coloured another cloth with Inktense blocks and heat setted the colours with a dry iron. It seemed to work. No colour run-offs when I washed the block under the tap. Little blocks of success – that’s all I ask for. They do add up to make the big picture. Time to say good night.