FROM A WHISPER TO A SCREAM

It’s the end of March. It’s messy and melting outside. Nothing pretty about it – icy muddles and dirty snow. Seems like there’s always stuff for me to bitch about every month. I can hear someone asking, Are you ever happy? Probably not! Want to make something out of it? I demanded back in my head. That’s what I like about having my own space for conversations. I get to say what I want without interruptions and corrections. It is very difficult in the real world. Have you noticed that? I’m guilty of it myself. I try very hard to stay quiet and let the other person speak for himself, how he sees, how he feels. I can just listen. I don’t have to offer answers, solutions or opinions.

I’ve had a few difficult days with hip pain. It sure woke me up on how much we take things for granted – like getting in and out of bed/the car, getting up from the chair, turning over in bed. The list goes on and on. I discovered that everything was painful and tiring even just sitting. I should have listened to my body even when the signal was soft and quiet. But no, I only heard when the pain screamed at me. It got my whole attention then. I went on an internet search for answers and solutions.

I am lucky. I found some. I incorporated some of the stretches in the above video with some strengthening exercises. I do them in the morning, afternoon and before I go to bed. I still have some discomfort but I can roll on both sides in bed. This afternoon I am able to climb up the basement stairs using both legs. Hurray!

I’m in a better mood now. Things are improving. I am getting better and wiser. I rid my week’s activities of everything except absolutely necessaries. That alone took a lot of pressure off my hips and allow me to heal faster. Now to apply that philosophy to other areas of my life. Indexcard art and quilt squares remind me to keep things small and slow. Life in bite sizes. There is no rush. Savour everything.

MY SHADOW AND ME – AugustMoon day 4

my shadow

AugustMoon Day 4 photo prompt

So I had a conversation with my shadow the other day.  She finally caught up to me – my dark sister, my ugly twin.  All my life she’s dogged me – beside me, behind me. I had ignored her, looking at her sideways. Sometimes I glanced back at her. But I’ve never looked directly at nor have I acknowledged her.

What is this aversion I have towards my shadowy self?  Is it because she whispers half truths and lies in my ears and tries to scare the hell out of me?  Do I have to jump out of my skin every time she whispers BOO! ?  So I am not perfect.  I am wilful and stubborn.  I am grumpy and ill-tempered and a scarity cat.  But am I really? Is it true?  And does that make me unlovable?  I tell you, I am tired of living under my dark sister’s shadow.

I told her, too!  I brought her forth into the light.  I needed her within me, to help and guide me. Together we are the yin and yang.  You can’t have one without the other. You really can’t.  Have you heard of one hand clapping?