Tag Archives: chronic pain

NOTHING IS EASY

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Here I am. It’s tough to get going some days. The best tactic is not to sit too long. Get up and get going. It’s just what I did this morning. I got up and started stitching though I was still in my pjs. Absorbed in my task and listening to Waylon Jennings and the Platters took my mind off my physical aches and pains. ‘Resting’ offers no relief. I’ve learned to be useful at a slower pace. At the end of it, I have made something beautiful.

Creating is not always an enjoyable process. It involves taking things apart if I mess up. The hair was not right. The stitches too tight, pulling and puckering his head. His nose was too big and too long. It was in my face. Undoing his hair was murder. There were a lot of tight stitches. The nose was much easier. I can reconstruct it all again. It’s all in a day’s work. It’s teaching me about patience and not settling for good enough.

Writing this post is not easy. I’m constructing one painful sentence and paragraph at a time. Walking Sheba was another difficult thing. This grey weather is not conducive to have a passion for anything. But when I walk out the door, I was surprised to find it was not all that cold. I was surprised to see the broccoli in the garden is still green. I was surprised to find I do feel more expansive out of doors. Still…it was a trial to step along with Sheba.

Fatigue made me anxious to get the walk over and done with. But guilt kept me going the distance. I started to feel better as I walked. My aches eased and I straightened my spine. I looked over fences to see what’s on the other side. It was ok. We’re home again. I did a little more stitching and painted a little. Supper’s ate and my glass of wine is done. I’m done, too.

 

ANOTHER CUP OF TEA – STALLING AGGRAVATION

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I would love another cup of tea. To get up and put on the kettle gives me a break from what ever I am doing. My pains are still with me. Tylenol Extra Strength does work but it takes only some of the edges off. So I can only work at one thing in short spurts. Staying too long, concentrating too much makes my body want to scream. So another cup of tea, a few brush strokes, a few sentences here and there and getting up, breathing in between.

It was a long in-be-tween! Another cup of tea and dim sim with my family and I’m back, sitting here again. But I think I will have to pause for that cuppa again and a Tylenol 3. Strange weather we are having. Right now it is -8 C. The sun is shining. It does not feel like January but more like March. I should not complain but I am. Nothing is like it used to be. I don’t like it. I am having a tantrum. I better go make that cup of tea.

I’m more wary and conscious what aggravates and what eases my discomfort. Tantrums certainly aggravates and stalls me. I am learning to note its presence and let it go. Sheba’s loud barking makes me crazy. We go for an earlier walk. It’s saves both our lives. Walking in sunshine is much pleasanter. I will adopt this new time. Messy floor with dog hair intensifies everything. Having the Dyson stick makes life much easier. Clutter makes me want to pull my hair out. It will be my physiotherapy to find homes and put things away. There is a reason for everything that happens. It’s one way of looking at it besides letting it bring me down.

The pain has its attributes. It slows everything down for me. In a way it makes me more observant and deliberate.  It keeps me quiet, blocks out judgement and keeps the critical eye at bay. I save all my observations for later, when I am in a better frame of mind. It is safer, too. Pain can colour perceptions. I don’t want to make any decisions or voice any judgements under its cloud. Be safe. Clearly my mind is not at its best today. I’ve lost focus and direction of where this is going. But no matter. I am showing up as best as I can. I’m

 

 

CHRONIC PAIN – DEALING WITH BUSINESS

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I feel slow as molasses today. Surprisingly I’m doing better in dealing with business. I haven’t felt this uncomfortable for a long time. Maybe it’s because of this crazy weather of ours. We’ve fluctuated from almost -48 C of last week to -7 C today. I wonder what it does to the barometric pressure and our human bodies. No matter what the studies show, I know changes in the weather affect me. I’m feeling the pain in my fingers, wrists and face and jaws. Even my gums hurt. My arms and legs feel heavy as lead. What a whiner, eh?

I’m not really sitting on my duff complaining. It feels worse then. I move around, stretch here, stretch there. I vacuumed parts of the house on my prowls, waiting for breakfast, etc. etc. Now it’s all done. I was going to take an extra strength tylenol on different occasions. Then I forget or forgot if I’ve taken one or not. In the end I decided to take a Tylenol #3. I was that uncomfortable. It has 300mg. acetominophen and 30 mg. of codeine. Whereas Tylenol Extra contains 500 mg. acetominophen.

It did help some. I paid all the bills plus renewing CAA membership and Sheba’s pet license. Was going to write some Christmas cards but decided that I should save some energy for making lunch. I know. It’s after Christmas. I do what I can when I can. Now I’m trying to tap out a few words here. I’m feeling my discomfort coming back in full force. It helps to have ‘challenges’ to keep me going. They give me structure and routine:

It sounds like a lot but it’s not really. They are things that I am already doing. They take my mind away from my discomforts when they arise. They are all about creating and learning. It was the 100 Day Challenge that took me back to art. Then it was blind contouring, index card art…. Each avenue took me to a new dimension. Enough for now. I have to move.