Four days in, September has not been warm and fuzzy, the kind of autumn days we dream of. It’s cool and windy. Strains of Nat King Cole’s Chestnuts roasting on an open fire are playing in my mind. I am feeling slow and sluggish, wondering how to get myself back in motion. I stopped going to the gym awhile back. I didn’t realize that routine of getting out of the house bright and early was so motivating and energizing. Starting over is hard to do. Even though I’ve started back, my heart isn’t in it. I have to work at it.

I guess the lesson is not to completely stop the good things. Instead I can scale back, take a short rest and hop back on again. When the desire and inspiration are not there, I will have to do the hard work. And it is hard. Giving in to languishing and curling up with a blanket looks very attractive right now. But I know that will not get me out of this ‘everything is hard’ hole. I will buckle up and suck it up.

It helps to have this writing space. It helps to lay everything out on the page. I can then see the wherefores and whys of some of the things. I think that is why I love crossword puzzles and Wordle. Writing helps me solve problems. It stop thoughts whirling endlessly in my head. It stops me from berating myself and making myself feel bad. Writing is my therapist without a hefty fee. And I don’t have to wait for an appointment. I have to love all that.