Thank God for packaged cooked food ! Even though they are made with Italian herbs and spices, they are not as savory as their write up. They are rather flat, but on days like today I’m grateful for them. I can just pour the meatballs onto a baking sheet, put it into the hot oven and voilà – lunch in 15 minutes. I just add a salad and warm up some leftover rice.

The morning is cold. Sheba is pesky and underfoot because she didn’t get her morning walk. She makes us pay. We will bundle up after lunch and go to the dog park. I am not 100% but it is easier to let her run, off leash. By then the temperature will be more reasonable. For now, I am enjoying a little quiet and a cup of chamomile tea before turning the oven on. That extra heat will be welcomed.

Though my fatigue is less, I can’t seem to get warm enough. Once I get sick, it takes me a long time to recover. But I’m thankful my symptons are mild this time. I’m prone to respiratory ailments probably due to my congenital undeveloped frontal sinuses. I’ve learned to live with the condition better over the years. What is important for me is clean moist air. It has been over 3 years since I’ve been really sick. I’m grateful but it’s still an irritation not to have the energy of an EverReady Bunny. I have so many things I want to do.

It’s a good thing, my ever present desire to do. I mustn’t knock myself but learn to temper it to a healthy level. It was not a hard thing to do today. I have that desire to pamper myself a little on such a cold morning. I crossed exercise class off my list. Really, I have no energy to huff and puff, on and off the step. I had pushed myself too hard the previous weeks working at a level of 9 out of 10. 8 is well good enough. In a while after a rest, Sheba and I will try to do 2 rounds at the park. That is exercise enough for today.



IMG_1895This morning I am sipping dandelion tea made from roots dug this summer.  Steel cut porridge is simmering on the stove.  The aroma and steam from the cooking is soothing for my dry passages.  No, my tryst with the cold is not over.  I am fooled once again.

It is difficult to be patient.  I am angry with my body, not healing fast enough.  But I must get over my anger and allow my body the ease to heal itself.  The two of us fighting each other will only prolong the process.

IMG_1892My anxiety last evening sent me into a panic of breathlessness.  I got a dose of how my patients used to feel.  One never knows how it feels until the shoe is on the other foot or should I say, on my foot.  It is good to taste one’s own medicine.  A cup of peppermint tea and other tending from the man around the house helped a lot.  An old beauty aid comes in handy, too.  Never throw anything out.  You just never know when something will come in handy.

I should stop saying, I think I’m feeling better today. Optimism hasn’t helped.  I should just ride out the storm.  My colds are usually long affairs.  I’m among the 10% of the population with undeveloped sinuses. The only ones I have are tiny ones above my eyebrows.

I didn’t know I was an anomaly till I was in my 30s when I had an acute attack of facial pain (sinusitis).  It was after visits to several specialists that I was diagnosed. What it meant for me was I can’t breathe dirty air.  I had to give up smoking.  At my worst, everything bothered me – dust, perfume, cigarette smoke.  I could taste the ink on newspapers in the same room.  Colds took a long time to get over.

Life generally sucks when I have a  cold.  I can be handle it only for a week.  Then I go berserk which is right around now.  I feel totally devoid of sanity and good will.  Thank goodness Christmas is not till December for I am also short on joy.

However, life marches on.  I still have the same old, same old problems, perplexities or whatever it is that life is made of.  It is not made of sugar canes, that is for sure.  That reminds me, I have bills to pay.  Call me cranky, call me bitchy.  They both fit. And as Scarlet Ohara I would breathlessly say, Tomorrow is another day.