I GOTTA HAVE HEART

February – you are the heart month but you are also the coldest month so far. How am I suppose to keep heart? My fingertips are cracked and bleeding from the chill. That will teach me to take my gloves off to capture your icy beauty with my camera. I wince with each tap on the keyboard. It is worth it though. It all helps to give me heart, to keep it beating, to perfuse me with a creative force. It helps to have added purpose for Sheba’s and mine daily walks.

Keeping heart is sometimes hard for me. I feel things deeply – the highs and the lows. I bounce around like a rubber ball. I can run hot and cold at the same time. You might call me a HSP, a highly sensitive person. I fit the descriptions very well. I have all the 21 signs, most notably the need for alone time and absorbing other people’s feelings. Hell, all 21 points are strong in me.

I’ve never really checked into it before now. Maybe understanding myself better will help me to navigate life better. I hope it will lead to having an easier time relating to others and managing my emotions. Dang, life is frigging hard! There’s still things to learn no matter how old I am. I’m all for it. Bring it on.

I wonder why I have such a hard time. I guess it’s that HSP part in me. I feel too much. Why must I? I don’t like it one bit. Too bad, says the big guy in the sky. That’s who you are. Live with it. And so I must. Everything, no matter how small, that I can do for myself will help. At the end of it, they will be monumental, the very things that can tip an iceberg. So I gotta have heart, keep plugging away and put one foot in front of the other. I’m on the Yellow Brick Road. I want to find the Land of Oz and the Emerald City. I will follow Dorothy and her motley crew- the Scarecrow, The Tin Man and the Cowardly Lion. Onward ho!

GRACE – Day 148 in a year of…

Day 148 – December 20, 2016 @2:27 pm

I’m sitting here in gratitude for having the wisdom to embrace change. It took me long enough. It’s better late than never. It’s 5 months into the journey of doing a little different each day. I’m seeing the light of how big and momentous those little things are. They are magical and transforming, sending me down The Yellow Brick Road towards The Land of Oz.

graceThey led me toward discovering my abilities, skills and forgotten loves. They drew me to participate in the Judy Wise Challenge of painting on one canvas for 30 days. All roads do lead to Rome! After 2 weeks of doing so, I see alchemy at work.

I started out in the Garden of Eden with snakes and vipers, went through various storms and struggles. Today on day 15, Grace emerged. She is no longer the sinful Eve, fleeing from Eden. Eyes wide open, She recognizes her strength and worth. She is still growing.

What will tomorrow bring? I don’t know. It’s a mystery. A little tweak of a brush, a lighter shade of purple, a darker shade of brown…little changes. Profound results can happen.