THE MORNING AFTER

Good news. My tomatoes and peppers survived the minus temperatures overnight. It went down to -5℃ and was -4℃ at 7 am when I got out of bed. The temperature didn’t get above freezing till 10. I waited till noon before uncovering. I was pleased to find the tomatoes and peppers alive and well. They were inside kosy coats with additional covers over the top. I had some eggplants in kosy coats but did not bother throwing extra covers over them as they had no fruit. Or so I thought. Much to my surprise, when I reach inside to check them, I found one white egg in one. The top leaves were a little wilted but the rest was ok. Moral of the story is keep trying even though it looks less likely. I got thoroughly surprised. There were no fruit on any of the eggplants when I put their kosy coats on a few weeks ago.

It is still fairly green elsewhere in the garden. Some things did better than others. I am surprised that the basil in front of the garage survived while the ones in the herb spiral and raised bed did not. The celery and kale are still going strong as well as the petunias on the deck. The sweetpeas are still sweet. Their companion vine, the slipper gourds bit the dust. The marigolds are still colourful amid strawberries. And the New England Aster is more vibrant after the frost. The bees are not so happy with the cold. There’s less buzzing. I hope the grapes are sweeter now. I will pick them soon.

THE MORNING AFTER

It’s the morning after my 9 day online spiritual retreat with Caroline Myss. As with most morning afters, I’m feeling like Peggy Lee singing, Is That All There Is? My problem is I have this lazy bone. I like the learning . I wish it could go on forever. I love soaking up all the knowledge. Living it is another matter. I have this feeling of avoidance, dread, putting up roadblocks. I think I hate change and creating the domino effect. Make one wrong move and the whole thing comes undone. I hate uncertainty and taking chances. I love safety even though it’s stifling at times.

Learning, researching, gathering information, whatever I choose to call it, gives legitimacy to procrastination. It reduces my guilt of none doing. I wonder why I feel I have this guilt. Why must I be doing something ‘useful’ or ‘creative’ all the time? Why is enjoying idleness such a sin? That’s something to think about. But I’ve cleared out all my busyness during this 9 day period. I’m taking time resting in the in between notes, letting the information and ideas sit and percolate. More wisdom may arise. I’m more apt to hear it when it comes if I’m quiet within.

I am enjoying the idleness today. There is that feeling of ‘I should have’ in the back of my mind. I should have but I’m too tired. I should have but there’s a feeling that I don’t want to go there. I should have but I dread doing that. I’m learning to live with and accepting these feelings. Sometimes they are not real. They do no harm. I can sit with them. I can stand the rest as well as the guilt.