WHAT I KNOW FOR SURE

The month and the Ultimate Blog Challenge are almost over. What is it that I have accomplished? And was it what I set out to do? The answer is I don’t know to both. Well, there goes my quest for clarity. My head is as muddled now as is in the beginning. At the same time, I don’t feel a sense of failure. I am living real life one day at a time. Some days are good. Some are not. Some days are a mixture. What I know for sure is everything passes.

This morning I was reading Dr. Larry Dossey’s The Extra-Ordinary Healing Power of Ordinary Things. I really enjoyed the section on plants and bugs and how they contribute to our well being. It made me realize how out of touch I am with the natural world. How often do I look up at the sky and really see it? Have I ever hug a tree or even sat under one? Do I pay attention to the creatures that crawl about and fly above? They are mostly in the peripheral of my awareness. I am too much concern with me, myself and I.

Perhaps I should widen my scope and pay attention to the natural world. I felt myself opening and softening up inside as I read the stories of flowers blooming out of season and maggots and leeches healing wounds. I want to be in midst of the green and crawling living things. I want to hold hands and have conversations with them again. I did that once upon a time. Once upon a time I also played on the rooftop of my grandfather’s house in China. I played and talked to ghosts, too. It’s not too late. I can still have all those conversations. All I have to do is open up my mind and heart again.

MY GENE POOL

A lovely sunny Saturday morning. I will try not to let it slip away on me by useless redundant thinking and scrolling through the Internet. I love the early morning light as it dances through the sunroom. First it is the faint orange glow of the sunrise. I look up to see if it isn’t the ceiling lights. It isn’t. It is as if I’m on a stage as I move through my qigong routine. Things are sharper and colours more vibrant. I am at ease. I watch as the light turns more golden and plays along the walls. Soon it is gone, to return later in the day.

I have to be present to catch these precious moments. It is the time of day when I am opened and freed from the cares and despairs of our modern world. It is a good time to fill myself with hope and optimism. This morning I am reading Larry Dossey’s The Extraordinary Healing Power of Ordinary Things. The title speaks for itself and to me. I am a huge fan of the ordinary. I’ve experienced a few Eureka! moments already just in the first part of the book. I’m more awake to understand and question things as they are. So much for my wanting not to do these very things.

I might as well give up trying to fight myself. I am who I am. After all, my maternal grandfather was a teacher and principal. I believe I got my high principles, stubborness and stern nature from him. Like they say, the apple doesn’t fall from the tree even a generation removed. It’s hard to disregard your genes. It’s not as if I chose to be serious. I would much rather be gay and the-devil-may-care. I would  rather have fun than the way I am. A coworker once accused me of always reading ‘strange’ books. She called me ‘eccentric’. That’s the kind of family I come from. On my mother’s side, that is. When they get together, they talk about things that matter, family history, village history, the way of the world, health, what food to promote health and exercise.

I suppose we are an eccentric bunch. But it is all good stuff, don’t you think? We’re always thinking and learning on how to do things and live better. My mother continues to fine tune her soups for maximum benefit. She consults her book of soups for ingredients. What roots, what barks, what berries for this and that. It’s no wonder I am the way I am. Like mother, like daughter. I gotta like that.