Tag Archives: standing back

THE BEST TIME TO START

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Photo by Reynaldo Yodia on Pexels.com

September 11th.

Yesterday I vowed to do better. I’m going to do it, starting today. Right now is always the best time because if not now, when? When I put off something, it’s a good bet I will forget and it never happen. So here I am showing up on the first day of the rest of my life. It feels good to show up for myself. I have just paid all my bills. I am not as late as I had thought. When something feels good, I tend to repeat it. Being here, writing out my thoughts and feelings feel good. The rhythm of tapping on the keyboard soothes and smooths my brain and helps organize my thoughts. I don’t know how I fell off my writing wagon. But I am back.

Today is another hot day, probably summer’s last hurrah. We took the opportunity to harvest some of our potatoes in our allotment garden. I haven’t always been a fan of hot summer days but we’ve had plenty of them this year. It’s either adjust, adapt and acclimatize or suffer. My body took over and acclimatized. Who wants to suffer, eh? Much to my own surprise, I find now that I am happier to work in sun and heat than in cool, cloudy and windy weather. Of course I would prefer a sunny day that’s not too hot or windy. But who can order a perfect day?

We went early in the morning before it got hot. It was perfect. We got 3 rows harvested, filling 4½ buckets. We have 2 more rows to harvest another day. It was a hard morning’s work. I don’t think I could pick up any more potatoes. My exercise classes at the YWCA helped alot. I could deadlift the buckets of potatoes up to the back of the truck. I took a little break to quench my thirst with my homemade apple juice and to do a few stretches to loosen up my muscles and joints. It’s always good to stop, have a rest, stand back and assesse one’s progress in everything that we do.

STANDING BACK

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IMG_6830I’ve been absent for a few days, taking time off for living.  My keyboards sit silent, waiting. This business of breathing in and out correctly and rhythmically takes time, care and energy.  You cannot press the ENTER button and business is taken care of.  No, you cannot but you can try.

I did try.  I thought if I followed the formula, the rules and put the round and square pegs in their respective holes, everything would be hunky-dory.  Not so, my lads and lasses! There was this thing called unpredictability that reared its unwanted head at me.  My Leggo life crumbled in piles before me.  I had to stand back, take stock and restart.

I did not lose all.  I did not run back to the starting line.  I restarted where I left off.  Yup, I did learn a thing or two.  No backtracking for me.  I leave that to the scouts and hounds.  I have no time for regrets over wrong roads taken.  I can only go forward down the next best road.

Standing back, I see that I did the best I could at the time.  I see that it was not for me to fix everything.  I am not all that powerful.  I am so glad for that.  It’s a terrible burden to feel responsible for everything and everyone.  And what ego!  Really, I have to give myself a shake or two.

Not all idle time is a waste.  It’s good to stop my tap, tapping so that I can hear what my heart was trying to tell me.  Stop your bitching, complaining and blaming!  Take responsibility!  Live your life!  I hear you, dear heart.  Thank you.