Joni Mitchell’s Both Sides Now is still my favourite song. With my hearing loss, I don’t hear music like I used to. I don’t hear the full richness of all my strings and things. But I can still hear the melody and single instruments like the piano and the lyrics. I can still enjoy music somehow. There is always something to be grateful for.
Yes, I’ve lived on both sides now. There’s ups and downs. Something’s lost but something’s gained. I’ve learned acceptance and that life has many sides. It’s not all or nothing. There’s life after loss and that it can still be wonderful and beautiful.
I’ve been struggling with my words this round of the Ultimate Challenge. Sometimes my fatigue gets the better of me. I’ve had to listen and give it some respect. I pick up the pace when I can.
This changes everything, this awakening to what is here now. I’m uncomfortable and unhappy with the knowledge. I’m taking an online course through the University of Saskatchewan on Equity, Inclusion and Diversity. Today’s lecture was given by Senator David Arnot. He has been Saskatchewan Human Rights commissioner since 2009. He spoke on Canada’s shame -the Indian residential school grave sites and missing and murdered indigenous women. He talked of many things – that Saskatchewan is the most racist when it came to aboriginals. We are followed by Manitoba and Alberta. Only 30% of people over age 40 embrace diversity. This is really depressing.
Not to be negative and totally depressed, he did offered hope. He recommended 2 books: 1. Treaty Elders of Saskatchewan by Harold Cardinal and Walter Hildebrandt. 2. Bounty and Benevolence by Arthur J. Ray, Jim Miller and Frank J. Tough. He touched on Rights Revolution, Responsibility Revolution and Citizenship Education. It was a powerful lecture. It left me feeling about how much is wrong with our province, our country and world. I can’t help feeling bereft, as if I’m mourning for something lost.
I can’t really say it’s innocense that I’ve lost. I’ve been and yet not been aware of all these and more for a long time. Maybe it’s what is meant by being unconscious. Now in our present climate of Covid, we have no place to run or hide. We have to face some hard truths. I wonder how we are going forward from here. What can we do? What should we do? Do we want to go back to normal? I don’t think I can or want to. But I am feeling stuck, unable to go back or move forward. I think I’ll just sit and sip my hot water for now.
onethousandandtwo 