The sun has finally shown up. These long winter days are longer and lasting longer than I had realized. It is almost February and almost 10 am. Things are wearing a little more on me. My antidote has always been have another cup of tea and tap a few words. The tea part is always easy. My words are not so readily come by these days. I’m now living in a world of one hand clapping. Can you hear it? It’s a place where it is difficult to clap back.

I’m doing my darnest to put my best foot forward. Each day I wake up, get up, dress up and show up. Sometimes it is hard not to feel sad in these times. When the numbers of Covid-19 positives and deaths are rising, there are still those anti-mask, conspiracy protesters. It is one thing to rally at the legislative buildings, it is another to gather and protest outside our chief medical officer’s home. And why do they not do that outside the health minister’s or the premier’s homes? Our chief medical health officer is a man of colour and has been verbally abused in past rallies.

It’s another morning. A little warmer today but I don’t find too much difference between -20 C something and -30 C something. Cold is cold but the sun is out. I’m on my second cup of tea. I try not to focus on how I feel too much. Mornings can be my best and worst at the same time. I’m not one who springs out of bed singing and whistling. The only ones I know who does that is Snow White and the seven dwarfs. Mind you, it is a very cheery tune. I can hear it in my head. It might be a great way to start the morning. It would give my rear end and my serotonin level a much needed boost.

Yesterday was a hard day – cold fatigue, lethargy and a dread in my head. Those things in the head are always worse than reality. Knowing that intellectually if not bodily, I forged ahead as best as I could. It’s wisdom to learn and change from experience. I’m glad I have wisened up a little. It’s about time! Life can be a little easier if I use my head and think things through before proceeding. Shopping can be exhausting for me during the best of times. Now it is more when we have to mask in all public buildings. I try to do all my shopping chores at one go. It can take some time as I do some for my parents, too. The last time, I got into a coughing fit from being masked too long. I had a few people looking at me nervously.

Now, I try to break it up into two segments. I do the pharmacy pick ups and groceries first. Then I take them outside to the car. That way I can take my mask off and get some fresh air before I go back into the mall to finish my other shopping. It worked well for me yesterday. And I ask the store employees to point me in the right direction to locate items. That way I don’t have to wander up and down aisles endlessly searching. I try not to park underground as the air smells of exhaust and I’m not sure of the circulation. But if I have perishables that would freeze and I’m not sure how long I would be finishing up, I would move my car there.