The sun has finally shown up. These long winter days are longer and lasting longer than I had realized. It is almost February and almost 10 am. Things are wearing a little more on me. My antidote has always been have another cup of tea and tap a few words. The tea part is always easy. My words are not so readily come by these days. I’m now living in a world of one hand clapping. Can you hear it? It’s a place where it is difficult to clap back.

I’m doing my darnest to put my best foot forward. Each day I wake up, get up, dress up and show up. Sometimes it is hard not to feel sad in these times. When the numbers of Covid-19 positives and deaths are rising, there are still those anti-mask, conspiracy protesters. It is one thing to rally at the legislative buildings, it is another to gather and protest outside our chief medical officer’s home. And why do they not do that outside the health minister’s or the premier’s homes? Our chief medical health officer is a man of colour and has been verbally abused in past rallies.

It’s another morning. A little warmer today but I don’t find too much difference between -20 C something and -30 C something. Cold is cold but the sun is out. I’m on my second cup of tea. I try not to focus on how I feel too much. Mornings can be my best and worst at the same time. I’m not one who springs out of bed singing and whistling. The only ones I know who does that is Snow White and the seven dwarfs. Mind you, it is a very cheery tune. I can hear it in my head. It might be a great way to start the morning. It would give my rear end and my serotonin level a much needed boost.

Yesterday was a hard day – cold fatigue, lethargy and a dread in my head. Those things in the head are always worse than reality. Knowing that intellectually if not bodily, I forged ahead as best as I could. It’s wisdom to learn and change from experience. I’m glad I have wisened up a little. It’s about time! Life can be a little easier if I use my head and think things through before proceeding. Shopping can be exhausting for me during the best of times. Now it is more when we have to mask in all public buildings. I try to do all my shopping chores at one go. It can take some time as I do some for my parents, too. The last time, I got into a coughing fit from being masked too long. I had a few people looking at me nervously.

Now, I try to break it up into two segments. I do the pharmacy pick ups and groceries first. Then I take them outside to the car. That way I can take my mask off and get some fresh air before I go back into the mall to finish my other shopping. It worked well for me yesterday. And I ask the store employees to point me in the right direction to locate items. That way I don’t have to wander up and down aisles endlessly searching. I try not to park underground as the air smells of exhaust and I’m not sure of the circulation. But if I have perishables that would freeze and I’m not sure how long I would be finishing up, I would move my car there.


I think I will have to stop living this Covid-19 lifestyle soon or else I’m going to turn into mush. I don’t mean I’m going to be rash and careless. But rather I have to stop thinking and living it 24/7. It would help if the CBC would stop devoting the whole hour of the National to it. The world has stopped but life and other deaths and diseases are still going on. It is not good for our my mental health not to have other focuses.

It is early evening. I’m waiting for supper. I’m sleepy as can be having started my day at 5:30. This is what happens in these times. Things are niggling on the edges of my consciousness. It’s hard to sleep in. It’s not a bad thing. I love the early morning hours when the sun is already up. I was not always a morning person especially when I was still working. I worked shift as a nurse for over years. Today is International Nurses Day and the anniversary of Florence Nightingale’s birth. There’s a flurry of Happy Nurses Day posts on Facebook. I wish all my fellow retired and working nurses a Happy Nurses Day.

Supper is over. Where did the day go? I started early enough. I still feel I’m behind even in locked down with nowhere to go and nothing I must do. I still have that must do and ought to do mentality. I did get 2 loaves of sourdough baked, made a couple of beeswax wraps and roasted a tray of egg shells. Egg shells, you say. Whatever for? They’re supposed to be good in the garden for tomatoes, rose bushes and other things. I will have to crush them up first though.

I still haven’t tackle all those I hate-to-do tough jobs because after all that baking, beeswaxing and roasting, there was so many things to clean up. It took up the rest of the morning. Then there was lunch to be made and more washups. After all that, it was time to take Sheba for her afternoon walk. I’m not as distressed today to see her stumble a little. I give her behind and hips a little rub and she was okay. She got a little dose of CBD oil in the morning. It seemed to perk and limber her up. We’re being daring and experimenting with life. I heard tell that life is a chronic condition. I’m trying to roll with it.

The end and good night.