Sometimes the best laid plans can go asunder. That’s what happened to mine. I was already prepped for the gym – class booked, dressed and bag packed. I had 30 minutes to spare. My intention was to make some marks on this page as a springboard for an awesome post when I get back from exercise. As it was I got called by the guy to choose a free gift from this survey he was doing for ‘Costco’. I did not want any of the gifts and left it up to him. The gift was ‘worth’ $90 but he had to pay for shipment. I thought it was a bit odd. Then his credit card was rejected. I said use mine. It was moments after that we thought, hey, this is a scam. He doesn’t do shopping at Costco. I do. And he gets the email for the survey?
No harm done. We phoned our credit card companies and cancelled our cards and will be issued new ones. I will get billed for $13.00 at the most. Money is not the only cost here. It cost us peace of mind and all that energy we spent cancelling our cards. By the time I got off the phone to my credit card company, it was too late for my class. I was left with a bunch of bad jittery energy in me. I had to lose them so I headed out to the ski tracks.
It was no surprise that the parking lot was empty, being Monday morning and cold. But it was sunny and no wind. It was a peaceful winterland for me. Being the only traveller on the road, I did as I pleased, stopping in the track to take a photo, to blow my icy nostrils and to have a rest. No one had to side step around me. After making a round, I was able to let go of some if not all of my angst and carry on with what I had planned for the day.
The scammers weren’t finished with us. They don’t give up easily – calling us, too, on the guy’s cell and the house phone. They left a message – ‘this is not telemarketing, press 1 to continue. The good news is I’ve just checked my credit card account online. No transaction posted today and no further phone calls. I guess this is a good wakeup call to pay attention to those faint and funny warnings from within. If it is too good to be true, then it is. Nothing is free. Curb that desire for ‘free’.
Now it is almost 6 pm, that supper hour. I had hoped to have this written in early afternoon. I had hoped to have cleared and tidied up more. But I am grateful to get this waker upper, to be mindful and be in the moment, to pay attention to my life and to rid useless time wasting, energy depleting things that does nothing to enhance my life.
I feel it is important to have a written account as I bear witness to this special time on our planet. I am more at ease now as my mother have recovered her vision in her left eye and her shingle pain is less. She has finished her 2 week course of valtrex of 1000 mg. 3 times a day. Now she is on 500 mg. daily for a month. She called last night to ask if she could go back to taking tylenol instead of gabapentin. She talked about how difficult it has been – the pain and the medication side effects.
Being her daughter, I understood perfectly how hard it has been. I am a too highly sensitive person for my own good. I’m too permeable to others’ pain, especially my mother’s. I dread getting ‘those’ phone calls from her. But I’m much better this time than the previous episode 3 years ago. I had thought that she nor I would make it. She did. I did. I guess we’re all of us are crossing the Rubicon now.
Today the sky is blue. The sun is shining. There is fresh snow on the ground. The streets are quiet and mostly empty of car and foot traffic. So peaceful! I could enjoy this new way of life if not for the Coronavirus and its death toll world wide. The world feels saner. No hum of constant traffic. We can finally hear our own breath. There is stillness. We are stopped dead in our tracks. It’s good to know that we can. Now we have to pay attention and listen to what the planet is telling us.
Life, as they say, is changed forever. I do not want to go back to the way it was. I do not want our constant craving of more and more, of filling up our lives with busyness, of filling up our houses and garages with useless knicknacks and ‘stuff’. There was no real life, no real time. WeI lived mostly in the virtual world or in my head. I found my attention span getting shorter and shorter, scrolling through the day. Maybe now with less noise and distraction, I can find my way back to my physical self and world.
As I light my candles tonight, I pray for a greener, cleaner and safer world. I send my prayers to all those in need. May we love one another. May we come together in this time of need to heal ourselves and our planet.
Sunday morning. The first time in a long while the sun came out at 6:30. It makes such a difference to my well being. But as we all know, not all days are sunny. I have to/want live well in all weather. I have to be like the postman – deliver no matter sun or cloud/rain. Nowadays they have little cars to drive around their areas with shorter distances to walk. I will have to be innovative on my foul weather days.
I can get a start on difficult things in the mornings. I have more energy then. I had designated Saturday as my HOUSE DAY – to clean and organize. I was good on my word. I tackled the most necessary, the fridge. The reality is that everything always takes longer than you think. I knew that ahead of time. I was not surprised that it took all morning to clean and organize just the freezer compartment. I was surprised that it held so much. There were freezer-bitten chicken breast and a buffalo burger, numerous bags of sunberries, dried grapes and other fruits and veggies. I paid the price for mindlessly throwing stuff in for a year. The rest of the fridge had to wait until after lunch. It’s looking good now. I wonder how long the result will last.
Here’s what I know for sure. Things take longer than I anticipate. I don’t like housework. I’m not good at it. I’m slow, a tortoise. I lack energy and concentration. I have too many foul weather days. What to do?
I’m taking a big breath, slowing my thoughts, learning to be patient. Though the sun is shining, I’m feeling yucky, my stomach upset, cramping and twisting. I’m feeling it all the way up to my head. I’m having a lot of sympathies for people with chronic colitis problems. How do they manage? Lesson number 1 for me – don’t eat fruit with my breakfast. Have it later in the morning. Simple. Let’s see how that works. Pay attention to what happens.
The thing for me to do, since I’m slow anyways, is to be like the tortoise – slow AND steady at it. I have to tend regularly, not once a year. That’s it for today. I’ve used up my attention span. Feeling a bit frazzled. I’m getting better though. I’m focusing to edit my words so they make sense. My head spins faster than I can type. I.am.thinking.and typing.in.sync.more.