I’m torn between doing and being. It’s never difficult for me to just be. There are many things calling out to be done.  Much as I believe FlyLady’s motto, You are not behind, this tug of war today have caused me to be behind. It has drained some of my energy. I feel somewhat irked. I’ll listen to the FlyLady’s advice and jump in where I am. I had subscribed to their emails to help organize and get out of chaos. It didn’t work for me.  I  read the emails but I didn’t do the stuff. After awhile I stopped even reading the emails. I have to find my own way. What I really want to do right now is read a little more of I is for Innocent with my coffee. So, I’ll be back later.

So later is another day. I ran out of steam, desire and time yesterday. I’m still suffering from the first two reasons. I’m still in my pjs but the lunch dishes are done. I’m letting the Roomba have its way in the kitchen. That’s what I do to miminize the getting behind stuff. I’ve become wily when I’m lazy with no energy. That’s why the good Lord gave us a brain. You know what they say. A rest is as good as a change. I’m processing – letting me rest a bit and letting things perk on their own. I’m listening to my GPS. Reroute! Reroute! I’ve finally heard.

I’ve just read another post from Julie Yip William’s blog called Love. It is a letter to her husband. Julie has passed away in March from colon cancer. I have no adequate words to describe it. You will have to read for yourself. Her words and insights are as profound as Paul Kalanithi’s When Breath Becomes Air.  Perhaps it’s their subject, death. Perhaps it’s their Asian background. I first learned of Paul from an article in Stanford Medicine’s journal called Before I Go. Yet another wonderful blog from an Asian writer living in Finland, is A Leaf in Springtime. I came across it a few years ago. She is a survivor of breast cancer.

I feel grateful stumbling across these writers. Grateful for their generosity of sharing their journeys. Words and stories are transformative. They are part of my GPS system. There is no reason to wander, lost in the wilderness when there are the words of those who went before us and those are here to lend us a guiding hand. To them, I say a big thank you.