I can’t believe it’s July. I’ve entered the Ultimate Blog Challenge again. I’ve been doing it for a few years now. It didn’t seem to pose much of a problem or challenge before. I was writing almost every day regardless. This writing space has been my saviour, my therapist’s chair, more so in recent times. Now my words are more difficult and slower in coming. They seemed to have lost their luster. Reading back to my first posts in 2012, I seemed to have regressed. I obsesse and repeat myself over and over.

I have lost my way, losing bits and pieces of myself along this journey of life. All of it is hard. It always has been. I’ve been losing heart, too. It’s been damn difficult. It’s enough to make one cry and I have. I don’t like to admit it but I have. I think it is the first time for me. Other times I just bear down, grit my teeth and hold it all in. But with the loss of Sheba, I just sob. The dam has burst open. I’m all the better for it – I think. And I’ve been losing my energy and power to my badass neighbour over and over. She’s stealing my soul. I have to stop it, stop feeding her. I have to feed and nourish myself instead.

So I dedicate this month of the Ultimate Blog Challenge to tap myself back to health of mind and body, to the recovery of magic and beauty of the word, to regain optimism and belief in the good of this world. I want to fall head over heels in love with life.