Tag Archives: faith

COLD IN THE DESERT

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I am cold this morning in the desert.  I tried to do my quigong outside but my breath would not come.  I could not be in the moment.  How could that be?

But I gave in and came into the warmth.  Then I was able to be somewhat one with my breath and finished my morning routine.  Ahhhhh!  Some relief.

I am learning to relax into the mysteries of the desert and life.  I am learning to embrace Jon Kabat-Zinn’s Whole Catastrophe Living – that it is about ALL of life, the good, bad, and ugly.  There is a reason for everything.

Slowly, I am quieting myself.  I am steadying myself, staying within myself with ease and not wandering out, lost in the desert.  I have trust in myself and the universe.

I am cool in the desert this morning.  I am missing the snow of home, Sheba’s happy face, our morning runs and hot chocolate after.  But I am getting warmer in the desert.  I am happy and content.

BEING OUR OWN HEROES

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Here I am, up late again.  The bread is cooling and I am savoring kale chips fresh out of the oven.  I like the bitter taste, but they are a little too crisp.  They crumble as they hit my mouth, causing me to cough and sputter.  Next time I have to take them out sooner.

I am finally feeling peaceful, my unease gone.  Sometimes I do not like the hours between sunset and midnight.  I get the heebie jeebies – a sense of dread and impending doom.  Perhaps I should not watch the evening news.  It is full of the BAD – crime, corruption, our not so stellar politicians.

Tonight it is full of the Pope.  Even he gets tire and has retired, flying off in his helicopter after riding and parading in his Popemobile.  I hope I don’t sound irreverent.  I am, after all, a Catholic.  But I can’t help but feel that we are all a bit schizophrenic as I watched the drama before me….the cheering people, so full of love for the Pope and all his men, the Pope kissing babies.  And the media capturing and reporting all this fanfare.  But what about all those abused and damaged young boys?  That is my thought when I see the Pope kissing babies.

I feel the silence among all of us.  We must not speak of such things.  They are holy men.  It’s the Vatican.  Shhhhh!  But these things come into my head and I cannot reconcile all these things.  They do not make any sense to me.  And if they do, I know I will have a problem.

It’s not that I have lost my belief or faith in God.  I have lost faith and trust in our leaders. They are human after all and make mistakes like the rest of us.  But just the same, they must do the right thing in the end.  We need not idolize them so much for we all have a hero in ourselves.  And God resides in all of us.  God is not in a building.