Endings and Beginnings

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The last day of January and the last day of the Ultimate Blog Challenge. It was not a strong or consistant beginning for me. I did not show up every day. However, I came alive in the second half. I’m quite happy with that. I’m here now, dressed, hair combed, earrings and hearing aids in, eyebrows lightly etched in. I’m ready for the last hurrah.

Though I failed to show up every day, I consider this challenge a success. I coaxed my words out of lassitude. I watched as they marched slowly and unsteadily across the screen. It was very rewarding to see them gaining momentum and then to flow smoothly into a post. I’m learning that it’s ok to miss a day or two. The important thing is to get back and try again. I’m learning, too, that my own words can heal. They still smooth and sooth my soul. They need not be many or grand. Simple and few can fill me up.

The pleasure of a challenge comes from sharing with others. Thank you to my fellow participants for their words. I’ve learned much from all of you. Thank you to Paul Taubman, the maestro of the Ultimate Blog Challenge. I am not sure what happened but I’ve experienced unusual high traffic on my site this month. What a wonderful feeling to end on.

Tomorrow is February and a new beginning. How will I begin?

THE SPACE BETWEEN ANSWERS

REVERB 2015 – waiting for 2016 – from Kat McNally:

Today, I invite you to think about the great unknowns in your life right now. Say to yourself this morning: “I am open to the answers finding me”. Then stay alert with as many senses as you can.

In what form did the answers find you?

~~~~~~~

IMG_2036I have been trying or not trying so hard to write on the above prompt for quite a few days now.  I am sad at the ending of things. I am not good with new beginnings or farewells. Our host, Kat McNally is saying goodbye to Reverb and her blog.  Then Christmas Eve, our neighbours had a house fire.  They lost their 2 little dogs to smoke inhalation.  My dog and I still look for them when we leave the house.  Where are those little rascals?  Loss takes time.  It’s not bad to feel it.  It is natural.  Now I have to move on – with the rhythm of life and my words.

IMG_2097The older I get the less I know, the more confused I am on how to be. That is very, very true.  The good thing is that I am getting more comfortable with this unknowing in life.  I am able to sit back and sink into that messiness of I don’t know where the hell I am going or what to do.  I’m okay with sitting in between answers.  Why kill myself in digging at the root of things? Sometimes there are no answers.  I am deliberately choosing to do something different.

IMG_3895In the meantime there is nothing to do, no place to go, no wants, no striving, no worries. I can sit here with the Mister and Sheba –  feet up, living in the moment, watching our breaths going in and out.  All is copacetic.