Tag Archives: daily writing

WHAT MAKES ME HAPPY

Posted on by
1

It’s a cool cloudy October 23 at -3℃ at 10 pm. This is rather late to be writing a post for the Ultimate Blog Challenge. It is how it is and I am again at a loss as to what to write. My cold is much better so I am a happier camper. My head is not thick and hollow at the same time. I’m seeing the world through different eyes now. Life is not as heavy. I can breathe a little easier. And that makes me happy.

What makes me happy seems like a good topic. The house is quiet and peaceful. I’m at the keyboard with my thoughts and words. I’m happy at the task. Things are not exactly flowing but they are trickling out. I’m surrounded by some of my artwork. I brought them out in my search for what brings me joy. They show the happiness within me much better than words. Sometimes a picture is worth a thousand words. Other times words paint a picture in my mind’s eye.

BACK IN THE SADDLE

Posted on by
2


I fell off my writing block for a few days and haven’t shown up the Ultimate Blog Challenge. It’s hard to climb back on the saddle but I will give it an honest try. I’m having more luck keeping up with the Inktober Challenge. It’s a little easier to doodle something rather than write a post. There’s no thinking involve. I just doodle to a word prompt. I take just minutes. It’s not fine art. It’s not detailed. But it is fun and cathartic. I don’t have to lie on a couch. I don’t have to talk.


I have to admit I am undergoing some stress and I have a cold. So I am not feeling on top of the world. I am tired. I like to kick a few tires. But I just got this space and micron pens and my journal to sketch in. It’s probably the best. I won’t be hurting or offending anybody’s feelings. I’m causing less harm to myself and others. As you can see, I’ve changed the theme for my blog. I haven’t figured out how to edit to make it looking swell. All I know how is to change the colour and I can’t decide which is the best. So trying this for now.

I am feeling better already by deciding to climb back up, doing something, anything. Any action/decision is better than none. I feel worse by being static. Resting even if I do have a cold is not always the best solution. I feel just as tired if not more by resting. So I have to move around a bit, loosen up a few muscles/tensions, getting a few things done. I don’t mean to go hard at it, but gently and slowly. And rest a little by all means. Drink tea. Have a snack or two. Relax. Breathe. Let go.

THANKSGIVING

Posted on by
5

A glorious sunny October Sunday. Hopefully it’s not the last hurrah. It’s Thanksgiving in Canada. We have much to be thankful for. We have an unpredictable summer followed by an equal autumn. It was a good growing season resulting in an abundant harvest. We are cleaning up and harvesting the last of the garden.

The garlic is planted and mulched with compost. The winter compost bin is put in the garden near the house. The water tanks emptied into the raised beds and the garden. The pepper plants are cut and dropped in the raised bed. We thought we would leave the carrots till later. The flower pots gathered for storage. We are almost ready for winter. We are ready and waiting for our Thanksgiving supper cooked by my nephew for all in the family. We are thankful.

BEGINNINGS

Posted on by
5

We make beginnings harder than they need to be. I spent years putting it off, studying and gathering information on this and that when I already knew everything. Yet it was never enough. I’m still tempted by all these courses and classes on how to. Now that I recognize that I’ve been procrastinating, avoiding and averting the commitment of myself, I am beginning.

I’m scrolling past and deleting all those enticing calls to better myself. School is over. It’s time to put away the books and begin. There’s nothing to fear. There are no absolute failures. There are no resounding successes. Somethings are better than others. Somethings are worse. Life just is. Begin to do something, anything. And if life gives you lemons, add volka.

MY SAVING GRACE

Posted on by
2

I suppose now is not a good time to read a book about addiction, depression and things that go bump in the night. But the In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts came available on my Libby app and I couldn’t help myself. I am already hooked after a few pages. You could say that my passion is understanding our human-ness, what makes us tick and what doesn’t. In my next life, if I remember, I will choose something in psychology for a profession. In the now I am continuing my journey as a self-help junkie.

My saving grace has always been my thirst for knowledge and the belief that there is something we can do. I guess you can call that optimism. But it wasn’t till I was in my 40s before I realized that before I change my circumstances, I have to change my behavior/actions. I cannot just sit back, yearn and yearn and not do anything different. It would be like howling at the moon. That knowledge sat for quite awhile before I could put that into action. I am not a fast mover. I am the tortoise.

We know from the story of the story of the tortoise and the hare, the tortoise does get somewhere. And I have made some miles. In these early days of September, I am recognizing and understanding my symptoms of SAD. I understand and am a little kinder to myself. I try to be more active, be outdoors and in natural light more. It helps to have a plan for the day. Writing helps. Looking through my art journals gave me a shot of pleasure. I will have to bring out my paints, pens and brushes again. Then there’s my cross stitch kits and knitting. Knitting is very soothing, very much like tapping on the keyboard.

WILD WRITING

Posted on by
Reply
Photo by Alex Green on Pexels.com

Yesterday I joined in Laurie Wagner’s live Zoom session on Wild Writing. She read a poem for us – twice. And from that we were to write long hand for 10 minutes whatever that we felt. I was surprised that I could write about practically nothing for that long. I felt quite comfortable except for the fact that my hand was getting cramped and I caved in before the final minute was ticked. I quite like this exercise of writing whatever arises within – with no censoring, with ease, without planning and plotting. It eases something(s) within, releasing angst, anger, worry and whatever that’s gnawing at me. Seeing these mischiefs, in black and white, marching across the screen restores reason and order in my brain. I hope it makes me easier to live with.

I’m experimenting with the best time to release my wildness. Now seems perfect. The sun has risen, shining its goodness on me. I’m not keen on the autumn darkness of our early mornings. I feel its icy fingers on my innards. And now I have no Sheba to warm and stand guard by me. Thoughts of my fur baby still warm me on dark mornings before I open my eyes. I hear the sounds of kibbles dropping in her bowl and her crunching. Funny how far sounds can carry in the dark and in memories. It is very comforting.

The clock is ticking. I must not tarry. Life calls and I must answer.

THE IMPORTANCE OF BEING IMPORTANT

Posted on by
2
Photo by Brett Sayles on Pexels.com

I’ve been struggling with a little bad attitude and moods lately. It does not make me feel good about myself. At the same time, they are what I’m feeling. I cannot just squash them, wipe them out. I had to let them do their mischief within me. Otherwise, I would be saying that I do not matter. I am of no importance. It was difficult but I withheld harsh criticism of myself. The bad vibes passed along with the attitude. No CBD oil was necessary today.

The fine weather brought out my sunnier side. I’m a happier camper. But I cannot deny that the season and days are changing. My body is telling me so. I’m waking up at 2 am almost every night as if I’ve set the alarm. The good thing is I’ve been able to get back to sleep after a trip to the bathroom. I’m still getting at least 7 hours of sleep. My exercise class helps along with coffee with the girls after. Today’s sun helped tremendously. It gave me a burst of energy. It was no problem to dash off to the community garden to do a harvest after lunch. I was rewarded with 2 pails of food I grew from the good earth.

NO DENYING

Posted on by
Reply
Photo by Angela Roma on Pexels.com

It’s a cloudy damp morning. The ground is wet from rain overnight, the drops still clinging to the tomatoes and the rods of the trellis holding them up. As I speak, I hear the pitter patter of more rain. It’s a good day to relax with a cup of tea and read a few pages of The Good Earth. I have bread on the go but I can sip and read between stages. The process is quite flexible and forgiving. I can take time and make it work for me.

The burst of raindrops was short lived. The sun did not come out till now which is mid afternoon. I am writing in between raindrops, making bread, lunch and reading The Good Earth. The bread is cooling on racks. The loaves turned out superb. I am enjoying a slice, trying to improve my disposition. I’m experiencing a bit of a mood again today. I had a cuppa with .4ml of CBD oil again. I can’t tell if it helps but it’s certainly not hurting. I think the best thing is to let myself feel what I feel. Trying to quench what is perceived as ‘negative feelings’ is denying my authenticity, that I am not worthy.

Fresh bread out of the oven is so delicious. I can’t deny myself another slice. I’m starting to feel more mellow, loving and nourishing myself. I’m freed a bit from the circular thinking of being selfish and mean. I am just I am. No more. No less.