A sunny March afternoon. There are so many things that I could be doing. I just don’t feel like it. I’m like a petulant child having a quiet little tantrum by myself. I wonder how and what you all out there are doing. Probably all better and having more fun than me. I am reminded of summer holidays of long ago in Maidstone. The town is super quiet. School is out. The farmers are in the field. Everyone else is at the lake or just out of town. Everyone, except us, the Chinese people running the cafes. I’m remembering how lonely and isolated I felt as a child and teenager. We seldom went anywhere except to North Battleford to the dentist or optometrist when needed.

I wonder if that is why I don’t like fun. I prefer cuddling up at home with a book. We didn’t have a library in Maidstone back then. A library on a bus comes once every so often. I could also order books from the library in Regina. They send them on the Greyhound bus. The books I remember are Little House on the Prairie, Trixie Belden and the Hardy Boys. I love reading movie star magazines and Superman comic books. I would stop at the corner store on the way home from school and browse the racks. Sometimes I would get a pack of gum, the ones with movie star cards in them. One summer I bought Charles Dickens’ A Tale of Two Cities at the drugstore. I was in high school then and desperate for reading material. We didn’t have Facebook then. It was a hard read. That I remember.

Now there’s too much to read and all at my fingertips. I’m over satiated by Donald Trump buffooneries. Surely he must know and hear what he is saying. I am wondering if they are all a deliberate act to draw attention away from something more serious and sinister. Surely if he carries on much longer, could they not impeach him for mental derangement? Seriously I find everything too absurd to be real. Did Trump really call Gavin Newsom the president of the United States? Did he forget who himself was? I wonder if I had fallen down the rabbit hole and sustained a head injury. And all this is just a bad dream. I wonder how I can wake up.