Day 298 – May 22, 2017 @8:45 am

I’m still falling into the trap of same beginnings. It has been awhile since I’ve been here and yes life happens. They are both true and mundane. But you know what? I’ve fallen in love with the mundane. How comforting it is to wake up each morning to my outside world hasn’t changed. The sun still rises in the east. I am here in the moment as its witness – feeling the comfort of its light and warmth. I drink my cup of tea. The day starts.

How fortunate I am to receive the teachings of Caroline Myss during this difficult interior transition. The difficulty being that it’s personal and it is I who must rouse myself from my comfortable sleeping state and into the awake world. That world is vibrant and rotating on its axis and changing. I am not special but part of that changing. I cannot hang back by tooth or nail. If I do, surely I will suffer road rash. It has its own pain.

So here I am, trying – painful as it is. Amd it is to sit here and peck out my words and thoughts one by one. We are in the age of the Internet, send, receive, delete with a tap, click, ENTER. I’ve been mesmerized into thinking that life is that easy and fast – that I could live that way with no mess, no effort, no feeling. Click, tap, voila – done! It’s hard to sit and read an article with more than one paragraph, never mind writing one.

But look, I’m starting my fourth paragraph! It’s been a few years of deleting and entering to realize that doesn’t really do any physical work. It won’t clear the piles on my desk and other surfaces. It doesn’t remove the cobwebs and dust from my giraff and light fixtures. Even my cyber mailboxes were overflowing. But I am slowly creating order each day. Only 1 unread mail in the inbox.

I have surpassed my attention span already. An abrupt end. Better that than repetitive nonsense. I can try again tomorrow.