POT STICKERS AND WONTONS

I am not a woman of patience.  I don’t know if it is my nature or whether I became so from working as a nurse.  You have to be sharp of vision, fleet of feet and move, move, move.  There’s a cartload of medications to pass out, baths to be done and call bells to answer.  The very walls vibrate with DO IT NOW.  I got no time to wait.

It’s no wonder that I throw up my hands in the air  with my hair standing up on end if it takes me more than a nano second to do anything.  Imagine what I am like if I don’t know how to do something and have to read some directions.  I feel myself tensing already, my hair electrifying. You wouldn’t want to be around me.

But I am slowly changing.  I am no longer a nurse.  I am the queen of self-help, you know.  Wait.  I have to take a slow deep breath to relax.  Okay.  Better.  Having read a ton of how to books and listening to hours of Dharma talk,  I’m putting it all to practice, bit by bit.  Did Benjamin Franklin say patience is a virtue?

I am getting patient enough to develop some culinary skills.  I’ve learned to Google recipes and came out with some winners.  Mind you recipe directions are fairly simple and easy, at least the ones I choose.  Look, I can even take the time to chop up some ingredients and mixed them up with some ground pork.  Then I put a teaspoonful of the mixture in a wrapper to shape into a pot sticker or wonton.  Mind you, I was listening to my Dharma woman, Pema Choudron,  on Start Where You are the whole time.

I tried to keep that in mind.  I have the time.  Take the time.  Be patient.  Start where you are.  Keep at it.  Make pot stickers and wontons.  I have the stick-to-itness.  I must have it if I wan-a-ton.  That’s how I made it back from our long walk to Broadway, a step at a time, stopping for a rest when needed.

My words for the novel are not flowing easily.  Sometimes I sit and stare at my blank screen.  But I have an introduction and three chapters written for a total of 4619 words.  It is very exciting.  I feel a sense of purpose – a job I love to go to in the morning.  From reading Janet Evanovich’s How I write, Secrets of a Bestselling Author, I am doing okay.  I am having fun and making progress.  That is what matters.

THE TEST

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Dear God:

I have just decided to travel the high road yesterday.  Why do you have to test me so soon? Your daughter is tired, her feet sore and blistered.  The road is long and rough.  She can find no comfort for her weary feet and soul.  Even Comfort’s Cab did not show up by her house this morning as it usually does.

Heavenly Father, grant me your grace.  Carry me for awhile.  Let me rest in the comfort of your arms.  Let me gather up my strength and resolve again.  Let me feel the goodness of Ollie in heaven above.  Let me feel the compassion for myself as you taught me to feel for others.  In you I do trust and find comfort.

Your humble human

THE HARD AND ROCKY PATH

IMG_5714The snow flakes are floating gently down as I sit here, tap, tapping on my keyboard.  I have been tapping out  the words this last hour on my novel.  The words come but they do not fall off my fingertips with the ease that I desire.

Am I experiencing writer’s block or is this heart block?  I am sorely vexed with bad and unkind feelings towards my neighbour.  There she is already, shoveling the snow off her driveway and pushing it between the Junipers, into our yard, even after many requests for her not to do so.  What neighbour would do that to another?  What woman to another woman?  Where is the respect?

I fingered my rosary, the one that Ollie gave me, breathing in and out as I touched each bead.  I was so happy to run across Kay’s post yesterday on gratitude.  She was using her singing bowl and rosary to meditate.  That reminded me that I do have four rosaries gifted to me on my baptism.  It was time to find them.

I was drawn towards the rosary with large, blue beads.  I held it in my hand.  I felt the coolness of the beads and then something else.  It was Ollie’s presence, her goodness.  I was quite sure of it.  I knew then that I can breathe in this bad energy and not harm myself.  And breathed out out what is good.

Compassion Road is such a hard and rocky way.  The traveler needs roadside assistance every step of the way.  I am glad to have read some of the Dalai Lama’s My Spiritual Journey.  We are all human beings is his message.  We all hurt.  I do not want to be hurt.  In the same way, the other person does not want to be hurt.  Knowing this, I can do no harm unto another.

IMG_5717Compassion is a very, very hard road to travel.  I clear my space with good energy.  I  hold the rosary close to my heart.  I breathe in what is here.  I breathe out white healing light to the universe.

POSSIBLES

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Do you know that anything and everything is possible, especially in Canada.  Just look at what is happening in our Senate now – Mike Duffy and Pamela Wallin- accused of inappropriate travel claims.  And look at how our prime minister is responding, on the defensive.   What about Toronto’s mayor, Rob Ford, accused of smoking crack cocaine.  Wow!  Who can say Canadian politics is boring?

And if I’m not a little inebriated, I would be weeping at this state of affairs in our country, in the world.  What is wrong with these people?  What is wrong with all of us?  Why do things good and moral not matter any more?  Why is money and power so enticing?  WHY?

I am trying to keep a perspective on things.  I know it is important which side of the picture you are looking at.  But there are times when sides don’t matter.  There are times, no matter where you are coming from or at, it is always wrong, or always right.  I know I will feel better in the morning.  I will see in a different light.

Still, I should not despair.  There are things to rejoice and celebrate.  I am alive and healthy.  I have baked three loaves of awesome bread and 15 yummy cinnamon buns.  I have washed, scrubbed and swept.  I have exercised and walked Sheba.  And I have written 1100 words on my novel.  I am doing all right.