Tag Archives: under the weather

NO LIVES TO SAVE

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Right about this time in the day, I start to sag. I feel like Medusa with a head full of venomous snakes. I haven’t turned anyone looking at me into stone – yet. This is probably a good time for me to disengage from anything important. But here I am, tapping my fingers away. Tomorrow, I will try to ease off a little earlier. I can’t wise up overnight. It might even take longer than a week. That’s the procrastinator in me. I’m sure it’s in you, too.

I am so glad I don’t have to job to go to. I’m still feeling a tad under the weather. Brings back memories of when I was still working. Mornings like this, I’ll be sweating up the nerve to phone in sick. I always feel guilty unless I’m sick enough for life support. I always doubt myself but I can’t make myself go to work. After much back and forth – yes, no, I would make that call. I’M SICK! I’m so relieved that I don’t have to make those calls. I can just roll over with no guilt and have a few extra winks. I don’t have to dish out any pills except my own, no bedpanning, no lives to save. What a holiday!

Today is a holiday – Family Dday. We thought we would take in Remai Modern, our new art gallery. It was a free admission day. But it was too much of a good thing. There was a long line up outside. We decided to keep driving and went for lunch instead. It was a much nicer time at Thien Vietnam 2 Restaurant.

It’s another day or evening – Tuesday, February 20th. I ran out of steam yesterday and quit mid blog. Sometimes I have to do that. So here I am again, in the closing hours of the day. I’m not any further ahead than yesterday but it is real life. I had trouble getting in Sheba’s walk but I got it done. Hard to say no when she’s been waiting patiently all afternoon. I am showing up today just to close shop. It’s closing time and Leonard is playing in my head right this minute. My jukebox function is still intact. It’s great to have him sing me out.

THE VALLEY OF DOUBT

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The best thing for me is not to dwell in the valley of doubt. I should just drive through –  looking at possible choices, decide and act. My mistake usually is going back, ruminating and flagellating myself. All that does is create agony and more time in the valley.  I better work on giving up the bad habit. Most things are not that important. Whatever I decide and do will be fine. Things have a way of working out. I have good self talk. I hope I listen to myself sometimes.

I am a little down in the mouth. I hope I don’t talk trash though I tend to when squished between a rock and a hard place. It never works. So the dog is barking her fool head off. The postman was at the door. Yelling at Sheba never works either, but still I try. Eventually she does shut up. Eh, life is full of barks and grunts.

You will have to excuse me a little. The weather is hampering my well being. Not to worry. I’m tapping myself out of my discomfort. I’m contrary to that belief that we should be happy and chirpy all the time. I am an exception to that rule. I hope that I do keep my grumpiness to myself. Let me know if I transgress.

What I hate about these episodes of irascibleness is loss of productivity and more chaos. But being a long time companion of my temperament, I have learned to make a few adjustments of behaviour. I try not to give in to my crankiness and behave badly. I aim for a quieter environment. I try not to talk so much, staying out of arguments. That could be difficult. In those cases, I stay away from social gatherings. I use those alone times for constructive activity. Cleaning house can be soothing.

Today, I’m mostly tired. My throat a little scratchy from coughing during the night. I struggled this morning with the decision of staying home or going out. Staying home won out but I did feel a little guilty. Those I should have been able…I would have felt better if…thoughts tumbled in my head for awhile. I kept them to myself, not voicing them outloud. It would have been more delicious if I just allow myself to feel my fatigue and rest.

You know that when you have a dog, you can’t call in sick for those walks. You will not get any rest. I killed two birds with one stone to save energy. I packed my furry princess in the car. We stopped first at the dog food store. $91.00. Small price to pay for a healthy fur baby. I think it lasts for a month at least. Next was the dog park close by. It was our first one where she learned there were other four legged creatures like herself. She was very timid on her first outing, hanging close to the fence. She soon got over it and ran with her buddies. Memories!

Letting her run off-leash in the park was much easier on me than walking on leash. We did two laps around, climbing the hill in the middle. Done and homeward bound.