
Lately I’ve been in a bland blue funk, a lover of words and pictures, adrift and lost in a sea of no interest. Nothing stirs me. I’m plodding through my days by rote. It’s a good thing that I’ve had many interests and hobbies in the past. I can still rely on them as pastimes even though they are no longer as pleasurable. It’s not a good or sustainable way to live. Dissatisfaction has driven me to take on life as my next project.
It’s a pretty broad subject. The question now is where to begin. It’s stirring up a bit of interest/curiosity. I’m not quite as bland and morose but I am sick of it all – the whole nine yards of what I’ve been/was. I think I had to come to this to make any meaningful changes. I’m casting my mind’s eye back to the distant past, to as far back as I can. I’m just gathering memories now. I guess I can call them data and go from there. In the meantime, I am cleaning and clearing up my physical space. Hopefully this outer cleansing and cleaning will help do that for my insides.
It is a slow and painful process. I have lived amidst loads and loads of useless and outdated physical and emotional stuff. It will not be easy to let them go. It will be a tug of war. But it does promise to be interesting. At last I am yanked out of my malaise.
