Day 108, November 10, 2016 @1007 pm

Another sunny morning.  The sun rose again.  I sit and observe, feeling all there is, not trying to understand or fix anything.  Life is as it is.  I am still in this spaciousness of now.  I am grateful for this gift.  I am grateful for this life.

The sun is filling me up with light and optimism.  I am strong enough to enter the messiness of my life.  I am able to feel all the ‘uglies’ I’ve been unwilling to face.  I can sit and stay with the nausea, the revulsion rising up, the tremors, the chills and sweats of my body. They are sensations.  Like everything else, they pass.  I have chosen to do different.  I accept the consequences.  Doing the same had made me ill.  Now I am healing myself.

I am opening one Pandora’s Box at a time.  No scary Jack jumped out at me.  I breathe a sigh of relief. What I found instead was the soft child in me.  I rescued that child and held her once more in my heart space.  I am my own mother.