Tag Archives: pausing

Pausing

Posted on by
1

They say a change is as good as a rest. Pausing is certainly a change for me. Not knowing, undecided as to what to do, I did the big pause yesterday. I gave up fussing, thinking and plopped myself in the recliner, covered myelf with my little blanket and gave myself up to nothingness. It felt strange and uncomfortable at first. I had to resist from getting up and start doing. Then slowly I began to feel ease and warmth seeping in. It was wonderful. I luxuriated in the moment.

I had frequent pauses in the past. I reveled in idleness, sipping my tea and listening to CBC in the mornings. I felt no rush, urgencies or emergencies. I was a happy sloth even though I did wished for more vim and rigor. Now that I got my wish and became an Eveready Bunny, I don’t quite like it. It’s not who I am. Once energized and wound up, I couldn’t stop. I went on and on, one thing after another. I didn’t feel any better, more efficient or more accomplished. What I felt more of was tiredness, of being distracted, forgetful and short tempered.

Yesterday was a pause, a gift. I can see and feel more clearly now.

Pausing

Posted on by
4

It’s day 8 of the Ultimate Blog Challenge and I got day 48 of #the100dayproject under my belt. These challenges are working for me. Putting my commitments in writing and making them visible make me more accountable. It’s strengthing my perseverance muscle. When I feel myself reverting to my old ways or thinking of doing it, something inside gives me pause. In my mind’s eye, I see my written words. And I am saved from falling into the same hole again.

I need not to paint a master piece or write a great piece that will go viral. Something small will do just as well in keeping me moving along. I’ve been going into the greenhouse daily in the mornings. Sometimes I just want to have a look around. Other mornings I plant a few seedlings before the call for breakfast. In a few days a whole bed is planted with snowpeas, spinach, radish and Gai Lan (Chinese broccoli). The overcast sky this morning was perfect for transplanting. The young seedlings will take better without a hot sun.

Pausing works for turning around my bad attitude. I hear my whine and grump. It doesn’t sound so nice. It’s voiced but it doesn’t have to continue. I can stop and say I’ll be better the next time.

PAUSING

Posted on by
Reply

It’s Sunday morning, rainy, grey and cool.  It is August the 5th and I can feel it in my bones even before I got up.  I’m one of those weather vanes that can feel the changes of the moving calendar.  There’s this icky sense in my body and my mind…a feeling of dread and doom.  I accept this as part of me and rise to greet the day.

I’m thinking as I’m writing.  We should have accepted our friends’ invitation for beer and sitting around the fire pit last night when the weather was nice.  Should have, could have, but we didn’t so here’s hoping it will be nice tonight.  And that is the thing.  There is no undoing a decision once it is done.  It is what it is.  And maybe even if the weather is cool tonight, we will enjoy the fire pit more.  There is always another side of everything but you cannot go down two different paths at the same time.

Sometimes in your life, you just have to stop and pause and stall…and smell the flowers along the path.  You might not come along this way again.  And so I have,  even though it is through the paths in my photo album of our camping trip last month.  It is filled with wild flowers at Brightsand Lake Regional Park.