Tag Archives: mutterings

MY MUTTERINGS

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November 7, 2018

Winter is here. I think it means to stay this time. I’m feeling as lazy as can be. It’s a good feeling. It’s been a long time since I’ve felt this relaxed and restful. I have no urge ‘to create’ or do much of anything. Just good old ‘doing’ nuthing.’ I’m muttering and tapping on the keyboard here but I’m not driven with any ideas or messages. I’m just talking. Sheba has been pestering me to feed her early. She’s finally given up and is curled up with her stuffed toys.

I’m relishing my laziness. I’m remembering those good old days when we had time to sit with each other, have coffee and chat. Why don’t we have time now? We have gained so much with technology and yet we have lost so much to it. We have lost our slow living to fast and expedient doings. I fear we have lost the art of visiting and talking in real life and slow time. I should not speak in the ‘we’. Maybe it is just me who has lost the knack.

November 10, 2018

As you can see, I have grown lazy. I’ve abandoned my habit of showing up here every day. I’ve lost the knack for chit chat. I’ve been overwhelmed with all my doings of living – things I HAVE to do and things I like to do. There’s always a painting, an embroidery, and all those books calling my name. And of course, there’s always Sheba. I’m a little burnt, crisp on the edges. I needed to pull back, let go of some things. I need to be more organized.

It is not easy. Today I feel as if I haven’t done much but I don’t feel rested or peaceful. I’ve spent way too much time researching threads and stabilizers for embroidery on Amazon. There’s so many choices. I went back and forth, reading and reading reviews. After much ado and wasted energy, I did finally place my order. Now I am spent. I hope I will be happy with the products when they come.

Everything is a learning experience. I will not be so distracted and expend so much effort next time. I will just choose expediently and be done with it. Learning a new skill and a new machine is kind of painful. I am still happy I bought my Bernina. After 10 months I can read the manual and understand it. Sometimes I feel like I’m learning how to do surgery. It’s worth it. Now I have to tend to my headache.

ON BLOCKS AND BEING STUCK

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It’s Monday, sunny and bright for most of the day. I should have taken advantage of the energy boost it gave me. But I didn’t exactly bust my ass. I had good intentions. They don’t mean squat if I didn’t follow through. I should not trash myself too badly because I did show up for the aerobics class this morning. Now I’m showing up here.

It’s almost the supper hour. The sun has set. There is a bit of wind but it was relatively pleasant walking Sheba. I was bundled up – too much. I was in a sweat when we got home. The back gate is locked for the evening. The recycle bin at the front curb. I’ve collected my summer sandals off the deck. They’re in a box. Haven’t figured out where to put the box yet. So I guess the sandals are still on the deck.

Pretty boring mutterings, eh? That’s how I’m feeling these days – blasé about life in general. Have you ever been in that condition? I have, many times. I guess it comes from having a short attention span and easily bored.  That’s my theory. I do get over them though this one is hanging on. There’s nothing to do but hang on, keep getting up, dressing up and showing  up. I know one morning I will wake up feeling ‘yippee!’

I get help wherever I can. Daisy Yellow (Tammy Garcia) provides lots of inspiration. She founded the annual Index-Card-a-Day Challenge of which I participates. Her post about dealing with creative blocks works for my life blocks. After all, life is a creative process and a work of art. I try to paint a little index card, cut/sew a quilt square or two, write in that one-inch picture frame that Anne Lamott talks about in her Bird by Bird. Now, I have a whole swack of index card art. Some awesome, some good and some just so so. I’m on my way to building a quilt. It’s slow going but I have a start. I try to come to this space daily. Sometimes I don’t make it. Sometimes I do. My self -talks help to unlock blocks. To date I have 1,004 blog posts.