Tag Archives: getting lost

REFLECTIONS

Posted on by
2

December can be dangerous – for me at least. The days are shorter, the nights infinitely long. Then there’s the snow. Just when you’ve adjusted to it and the cold, a warm front comes along. The snow melts. You welcome the not shivering and bundling up but the world is grey and muddy. I find myself longing for the snow to clean and lighten my world.

Christmas comes along to add to the challenge. “Tis the season to be jolly. Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la. I was born serious and quiet. I was never jolly. It does make me feel obliged to go ho, ho, ho! I still have this bad little girl feeling inside.  I’m so serious and somber. I was criticized by those ‘aunties’ in China when I was a child. She speaks so little, they would say to my mother. That was how I was. How can I unbecome myself?

The answer came later in my young adulthood. I became a nurse. It was not to help mankind. My motive was I was bored working as a steno in a large office. I was searching for another career, one that would help me get over my quiet/shyness. A hospital would fill all my criteria. It answered all my wildest dreams – in a sense. I certainly developed a gift for chatter and a backbone for sure. Then there’s the anxiety.  We won’t speak about that today but it has gone. Thank goodness and knock on wood.

There are so many landmines in December. Even my iPhone is intent on tripping me up. No Internet connection, it tells me. Can’t use Google Map. I think I can find my way. How hard can it be when it’s only 13 minutes away. I’ve been there a few times already. I was wrong! My 13 minutes turned out to 30 minutes. But I got to see the countryside, blue skies, red barns and horses. Maybe someone up there knew I needed to get out of the city if only for a little while.

What I know for sure is that I am lousy at directions. On not so copacetic days, my sense of direction is even worse. I can’t even get myself out of a wet paper bag. Getting lost is not a big deal. Google Map is a good friend. If the iPhone is malfunctioning, turn the power completely off. Then turn it back on and it will work like a charm. It redirected me back on course. I have to give myself a pat on the back for persevering with my day, following through with my errands. I could very well have thrown up my hands and abandon ship.

On some Decembers days, my head is thicker and my fuse is shorter. It’s good to see myself reflected in the glass doors/walls I walk by. Not only did I get lost hopelessly going to Costco, but I didn’t realize I was pushing 2 shopping carts as one. The Costco greeter asked: Do you need 2 carts? Well, no. We had a good laugh and so did another customer.

All’s well that ends well. I have to echo Mr. William Shakespeare. I ended my adventures for the day at one of my favourite spots on 8th Street – A & W. The bright colours and big windows reflect comfort, ease and cheerfulness. Seeing the orange/gold orbs hanging down, I felt a Fa-la-la-la-la rumbling deep within. And maybe a ho! or two.

 

BEGIN THE BEGUILE

Posted on by
3

IMG_6949It’s the 4th day of 2015 and it is bitterly cold.  I am depleted of energy, ambition and creativity.  The cold has sapped me of all, though Sheba and I went around the neighbourhood in – 36 degrees C.  Perhaps I overdid it yesterday with the swimming and then a long trek in the dog park.  It wasn’t as cold then, but my phone and camera both died simultaneously.

I’m trying to find some oomph.  I thought I could bake myself out of this slump.  I bought out my baking sheets.  Then I put them back.  I’m sitting here at the keyboard.  My fingers are stiff and achy with the weather.  I’m pushing myself.  Just begin!  I scold myself.  Type one word, any word and the rest will come.  Does that sound familiar to you?  It does work, once you start and make a commitment.  Funny how that works.

I went to Nova Scotia once to meet a group of email friends I met on the internet.  We were from various locations in Canada and the United States.  It started out as a whim, just wishful thinking.  I was not am not adventuresome nor brave especially in the travel alone department.  But somehow I went alone to meet these people.  I had a car rented.  I don’t drive well direction-wise either.  With a car rented, I couldn’t just sit at the airport for a week, could I?  I had to begin.

charlottetwonI did get lost once or twice.  Most likely it was more often.  But I managed to meet up with my friends and spent a few days of good times in Halifax and thereabouts.  Then I went on solo to Prince Edward Island, the home of Anne of Green Gables.  I was so thrilled driving over the Confederation Bridge, all alone, by myself – the woman who still gets lost in her home city of Saskatoon!  And there I was – in Charlottetown.  I had someone snap this picture just to prove to myself that I was there.

Had I not made a start back in 2002, had I just dismissed the idea that I couldn’t – act on a whim, I would not have met all the wonderful people who are still my friends today.  We have lost two of these friends.  I would not have all these warm memories and pictures to rouse me out of my malaise to begin anything on this cold winter day.