Tag Archives: daily struggle and challenge

SATURDAY MUMBLINGS

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Is it only January 11th? It feels forever already! I am doing well – chug, chug, chug down the tracks keeping time with my tap, tap, tap. I might as well continue on down the line. I have developed a good rhythm. I’m not going too fast or too slow, not making long rest stops like I usually do. Then I whine about not enough time. Now, I am not doing that. At least not for the time being.

So heaving a very big sigh, I’m flexing my fingers over the keyboard. I do best when I have a schedule, challenge, a prompt, a deadline – something to rise to. Saturday is my favourite day. It’s my swim morning. I look forward to it during the week. It’s the week end, a day of rest from high stepping aerobics and pumping iron. I don’t always relish heading out in the dark of a winter morning to the pool. But I am always glad after. My body is warmed and relaxed from my hour of swimming up and down the lane. It is as if being lulled again in the womb.

I am not complaining but I am tired by my week. I’m not used to doing a steady flow of activities the week long. I have to build up my staying-with-it muscles. Still I’m proud of my effort and results. I’m not sweating or trying to push too hard. I still need my ‘ease time’ between things. I cannot rush from one thing to another. I have to be serenaded with silence, a cup of tea and sometimes a nap. I had all that this afternoon. Now I’m warmed and stretch. My brain and mind are working in coordination with my fingers. The words come and fall off their tips. I don’t have to struggle so much.

I really like this idea of no struggle. I know that it is not always possible but less would be nice. It’s wonderful that Julia Barnickle started a project called What If Life Were Meant To Be Easy? I invite you to check it out for yourself. I’m clumsy at explaining. I think any project on how to live better and with more ease is worth an investigation. I’m a curious George and a self-help addict.

This is it, the end of the conversation. Day 11 of nothing and everything.

MAINTENANCE TOOLS

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Maintenance is important but very difficult for me. I rather close my eyes, walk away and not think about it. It catches up with me eventually and I have to deal with it. I’m trying to understand this phenomenon to make life more pleasurable. I suppose it is one of those things that has no explanations or it is plain obvious. Who wants to deal with their shit? Let’s not do the digging in head thing and just get on with it.

I’m observing myself and learning how difficult it is to overcome the habitual patterns of my old self. It feels so uncomfortable thinking and feeling, never mind doing different. The discomfort is painful in a sense that I’m stuck. I can’t go forward but I don’t want to go back. My body yearns the same old. My mind is fighting it. No, you don’t! It’s like wrestling food from Sheba’s jaw.

I’m hanging in there. It’s my daily struggle and challenge. It’s all a part of index cards, free motion sewing squares, daily walks with Sheba and charting my progress here daily. I’m still reading Breaking the Habits of Being Yourself. I have read 39% of the book. I don’t feel I’m being obsessed with things. I’m doing daily little bit of the things that matter and I enjoy. They’re like building blocks of stick-to-it-ness. I see the improvement little by little in my index card art and my free motion sewing. Seeing it gives me pleasure, satisfaction and encouragement to keep on, maintaining my momentum. The little cards and blocks are my tools.

I’m applying little blocks of time to organize my activities of daily living – clearing my clutter, keeping me and the house in health and order. It’s working, albeit much slower in the house department. Some things are harder to do than others. The plants are pruned, watered and fertilized this morning. The orchids are waiting to be repotted tomorrow. There’s endless things to tend to. Thinking in small blocks of time enables me to think everything is do-able. If I think the whole enchilada, I will stall and shudder to a complete stop for sure. So here’s to the little building blocks of success.