LOVE IS MY ANSWER

January 2, 2019  1:52 pm

James Last’s music has been playing in my head today. It has been dormant all these years but my angel must have popped a coin into my jukebox. Strains of Love Must Be The Reason and the Wedding Song (There Is Love) are playing nonstop in my ears. Clearly there is a message for me. Love must be the answer.

I got it, my sweet angels. I have been listening. I heard the flutter of your wings, your whispers in my ears. It is better to love than hate. My mind and heart are cracked open a little. I will try to let in possibilities. I will try to let in light and softness. I’m letting go of control and judgement as much as I can. I will try to stop the narratives in my head. They are not always true. Sometimes they are the whispers of the devil.

Yes, love must be my answer. It’s the crowbar that opens my heart and mind. It is the doorstop keeping it opened. It is the devil’s bane. Let love flow into me to start this new year and help me throughout the year. I do not want to dwell in the valley of the shadow.

Why does a leaf turn its rays to sunshine;
Why does the dawn come to endless night.

Why does a road that unwinds so steeply
In what so true of such strong and right.

Love must be the reason
Yes, love must be the reason
Every heart can fly in a cloudless sky
On the wings of love.

Season for all season
Yes love must be the reason
Just one boy and girl
Can raise up the world
On the wings of love.

Why does the sea take the weary railroad
Into its arms like
a child of hope.
How can a tree rest beyond forever;
Hand touching hand least gone along.

Love must be the reason
Yes, love must be the reason
Every heart can fly
In a cloudless sky
On the wings of love

SELF CARE – Days 135 – 137 in a year of….

Day 135 – 137, December 9, 2016 @9:01 pm

It feels like an eon since I was here. How strange to find that it was only a couple of days ago. I can’t even remember what kept me away but it felt huge. That’s what short days and long nights does to me. Extra stress with the cold, especially when the furnace is not working properly. It felt like a monumental problem. But it’s solved. Weight lifted. I am just tired now.

img_8675I am learning to value myself. I’m learning self care in this year of doing different. I’ve brought out my earrings. Now I’m bringing out my fine china. I’m sipping tea in my Blue Siam teacup. Why was it just sitting in cabinet all these years?  I love the pattern and colour so much. It reminds me of Arabian Nights, The King and I, and all those things exotic like Leonard Cohen’s ‘tea and oranges from China.’

My tea is finished. I’m feeling less tired, my neck and shoulders not so stiff and achy. It’s a magic cup. I wonder if I rub it, would Aladdin appear? I pray and a host of angels are hovering over me. No, I’m not mad nor hallucinating. I believe in the divine. I believe in the spirit of truth and goodness. I believe in me. I can. I can.

Good night.