COME NOVEMBER

Posted on November 1, 2023 by hafong

November 1, a brand new day and month. For once I am without a project/challenge. It’s a little unsettling. I’m a ship without a captain. I’m a captain without a compass. What to do and where to go? Must I have a purpose and a sense of direction every single day of my life? And so I drifted aimlessly today, binge watching episodes of Yellowstone. It’s full of violence and exudes of sex. It’s not a feel good and certainly not good for my soul. Still, I’m watching. It’s engaging and fills the void.

Perhaps my project for this period in time would be a pursuit of something that feels good and that feeds my soul. It will be a challenge alright because my mind is at lose ends. Nothing excites or engages me. It is hard to think that not long ago, I was excited about waking up to a new day at bedtime. I couldn’t wait to step outside to breathe the morning air and see the sunrise. I would take a tour of the yard and the greenhouse before breakfast.

Where did my joie d’vivre go and how can I get it back? Perhaps I shouldn’t give in to my despondency and malaise so easily. Words and pictures have always been my best tools. November is NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) . I don’t have to write a novel. I can just write. Maybe I can write myself out of my funky mood. I can be my own therapist. I can draw my moods. I have always wanted to explore mood boards. Here’s an opportunity to solve a problem creatively. I can do it.

GIVING IT UP

Posted on October 29, 2023 by hafong

It’s been difficult to live up to the commitment of writing a post every day this month for the Ultimate Blog Challenge. This is my official announcement of giving it up and letting myself off the hook. Most days I do have the time, but not the energy or the inclination. It is better that I honour my body and spirit. Without them, I wouldn’t get far.

More snow came yesterday. Winter has come early this year. I don’t think it’s going away any time soon. So I am giving up on the greenhouse, too. No use wasting solar energy to run the little heater for night time lows. Now with mostly clouds and no sun to heat up the rock wall, the temperature is low most of the time. I will be harvesting everything in the next day or two.

It is wiser to give up those things that no longer works than to keep on doggedly, depleting my energy and spirit. I will make no further commitments other than to begin anew each day.

A SLUMP

Posted on October 26, 2023 by hafong

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels.com

I am afraid I’ve fallen into a slump again. I’m trying to climb out but it ain’t easy. I am devoid of ambition. Nothing is calling my name. I’ve managed to do 2 drawings for the Inktober Challenge to stay on top of things. The Ultimate Blog Challenge is not so easy. Besides no ambition, I have no ideas. I’m sleepy as can be. I want to close my eyes and have a nap. But that won’t get this post written.

I can blame this on the weather. Our first snow came 2 days ago. I’m waking up in darkness and low minus temperatures. I’m sure the change in barometric pressure is causing me some grief. I’m so stiff these mornings. I feel like a block of wood unable to bend and make my way around corners. I’m forced to do my stretches and exercises whether I’m in the mood or not.

At least the sun is shining on us today. Though it is -2℃ out this afternoon, the greenhouse is almost 15℃. The tomatoes, bitter melons and peppers are still going strong. I’m thinking we can keep it going till mid November. Here’s hoping. I’ll try to hang on, too, post by post, day by day.

WHAT MAKES ME HAPPY

Posted on October 23, 2023 by hafong

It’s a cool cloudy October 23 at -3℃ at 10 pm. This is rather late to be writing a post for the Ultimate Blog Challenge. It is how it is and I am again at a loss as to what to write. My cold is much better so I am a happier camper. My head is not thick and hollow at the same time. I’m seeing the world through different eyes now. Life is not as heavy. I can breathe a little easier. And that makes me happy.

What makes me happy seems like a good topic. The house is quiet and peaceful. I’m at the keyboard with my thoughts and words. I’m happy at the task. Things are not exactly flowing but they are trickling out. I’m surrounded by some of my artwork. I brought them out in my search for what brings me joy. They show the happiness within me much better than words. Sometimes a picture is worth a thousand words. Other times words paint a picture in my mind’s eye.

MUCH TALK ABOUT NOTHING

Posted on October 22, 2023 by hafong

Another morning, another day. Soup is in the making in the Instant Pot. There’s a load of laundry waiting downstairs to be hung. I’ve messed around with this new theme for my blog site with a few results. Technology can be wonderful but can be a great waste of time. My cough is better but still present. Energy comes and goes but at least the sun is shining on me. It is a cool 7℃ outside. The sunroom and greenhouse is toasty. I am sure my bitter melons are still happy.

I am not sure what to write for this 22nd day of October and the Ultimate Blog Challenge. My head is rather empty and hollow. I wish I had a business to promote. It’s a silly thing to wish for since I am not at all bent that way. I am the same politically. As for religion, I’ve lost my interest if not my faith. There was a time when I felt Jesus’ loving arms though I was not religious nor searching. Isn’t life strange?

I suppose I’ve come to a new crossroad. Now which way do we go, Billy? I hearing that song from the jukebox in my head now. 1969 seems like a great year from here. I was a star stuck teenager. I wrote to Terry Jacks of the Poppy Family and I got a reply! I don’t know which way I’m going from here. I’ll just rest awhile before making a decision.

FALLING APART

Posted on October 21, 2023 by hafong

Sometimes I struggle too much to feel better, to be on top of things, to be more productive, to whatever. I struggle too much. Would it so bad if I just relax and let the apples fall where they might? It didn’t hurt Sir Isaac Newton when he got bonged on the head. He got credited the discovery of gravity. I’m thinking of changing my motto. Instead of no matter what, I’m going to get up, dress up and show up to let the apples fall where they might. How does that sound?

My cold is getting better. That’s what I say every morning. Then the day progress and I with it – not in an uplifting way. So far, I’m still ok, tapping it out, releasing my angst. I’m erupting, disrupting, destroying my old self. I’m been pent up too long, being too much of everything. Now I’m a good girl going bad. It feels wonderful. It feels marvellous. It’s freeing. Hope it lasts. Then I can rebuild.

HANGING ON – LETTING GO

Posted on October 20, 2023 by hafong

Now that I’m back in the saddle, I’m hanging on. 11 more days left in the Ultimate Blog Challenge. Do I have it in me to finish? My cold is still hanging on. Frustration doesn’t help it go away. I’m learning that I have to let go to loosen its grip on me. It isn’t though. I feel like standing on my head. Not being able to, I don a mask and took a short walk around the garden. The mask keeps the cool air out and my throat not so dry. The short walk provided a short reprieve for my discomforts.

I haven’t gotten very far with editing this website. Now is not the time to do it. It will only add to my frustrations and make my hair stand on end. It’s hard to resist though. We’re all addicted to pushing buttons. And before you know it, a whole bunch of time have past with no good results. I’ve only pushed a few buttons. I’ve stopped.

I am feeling a bit better. Having a chrysanthemum tea and a snack. They hit the right spot. The way to a woman’s heart is also through the stomach. I will wind this post up, pick up my knitting and watch another episode of Vera. Murder mysteries is also a balm for me.

BACK IN THE SADDLE

Posted on October 19, 2023 by hafong

I fell off my writing block for a few days and haven’t shown up the Ultimate Blog Challenge. It’s hard to climb back on the saddle but I will give it an honest try. I’m having more luck keeping up with the Inktober Challenge. It’s a little easier to doodle something rather than write a post. There’s no thinking involve. I just doodle to a word prompt. I take just minutes. It’s not fine art. It’s not detailed. But it is fun and cathartic. I don’t have to lie on a couch. I don’t have to talk.

I have to admit I am undergoing some stress and I have a cold. So I am not feeling on top of the world. I am tired. I like to kick a few tires. But I just got this space and micron pens and my journal to sketch in. It’s probably the best. I won’t be hurting or offending anybody’s feelings. I’m causing less harm to myself and others. As you can see, I’ve changed the theme for my blog. I haven’t figured out how to edit to make it looking swell. All I know how is to change the colour and I can’t decide which is the best. So trying this for now.

I am feeling better already by deciding to climb back up, doing something, anything. Any action/decision is better than none. I feel worse by being static. Resting even if I do have a cold is not always the best solution. I feel just as tired if not more by resting. So I have to move around a bit, loosen up a few muscles/tensions, getting a few things done. I don’t mean to go hard at it, but gently and slowly. And rest a little by all means. Drink tea. Have a snack or two. Relax. Breathe. Let go.

Hula Hoop Saturday

Posted on October 14, 2023 by hafong

I’m resorting to another wordless day for the Ultimate Blog Challenge. My brain and body are tired and depleted. Here’s my effort at hula hooping. I managed to stay afloat for 45 seconds. I have done better but this is my best today. I’m nowheres near Rachel of Hula Dancercise but I’m trying. Maybe if I practice a little every day.

https://videopress.com/v/co6j2UZa?resizeToParent=true&cover=true&preloadContent=metadata&useAverageColor=true

WORDLESS THURSDAY – Bitter Melon Heaven

Posted on October 12, 2023 by hafong

It’s been a busy October for me. Rather than throwing up my hands, skipping another day or giving up on the Ultimate Blog Challenge altogether, I’m posting another sort of wordless day. I’m featuring the star in my greenhouse – the bitter melon. Though it is almost mid October, they are still charging along. I’ve given the vines a huge haircut to let more sun in. That’s also a lesson in letting go. Trimming off excess vines stimulated more baby bitter melons to form. I’m not sure of the count. I think it is over 10.