It’s July 22 and day 22 of the Ultimate Blog Challenge. We are still sizzling in our heat wave. For the last couple of days, we are also enveloped in smoke from forest fires. The smoke have completely blocked out the sun but not the heat. My world has an eery feeling as if we’re on the very abyss of destruction.
It hasn’t been a good environment for me to thrive and be creative. My energy and desires have also sizzled and turned into ashes in this climate. I’ve been a no show here and in the Daisy Yellow Index Card a Day Challenge. I think sometimes it’s good not to fight so hard. It’s ok to let go a little and just be. Perhaps I’m justifying my brain’s laziness and my physical inertia. But it’s a healthy justification. We need rest for body and mind.
Now that I’ve found these few words here, I hope I can work through my malaise and make a little card also. There’s cooler weather on Friday to look forward to.
It’s a hot one today and the rest of the week and beyond. It’s good to have a wordless day when I have been a no show and am struggling for words.
the garden as seen from the deck.the herb spiralthe yellow lilies and blue of borage look pleasing togetherthe prairie grass in bloom/grainlilie survived and blooming inspite of those red beetlestomatoes-how tall will they grow?big beef tomatoesmore big beef – I guess I will get enough tomatoesbrandy wine tomatoescomfrey – good for mulch and making compost teachocolate mint and stinging nettleamaranthcatnip and amaranth
Another warm day but not the 34℃ of yesterday. 27℃ is plenty warm enough. The sun is somewhat hazy and there’s smoke in the air. I’m not feeling in a super mood. I’m trying to work through it. It’s a good thing that I have the Ultimate Blog Challenge to explore all this.
Have I ever mentioned that I have never loved summer? It goes way back to my childhood days growing up in Maidstone. We were one of maybe 3 Chinese families in town. We didn’t socialize much with the rest of the community being new immigrants. Our cafe was opened every day except Sunday, all year long. We never went anywhere except maybe North Battleford (an hour’s drive away) once in a blue moon for dentist, optometrist and maybe a little shopping.
Summer time the town seemed dead. The farmers were out farming. School was over. Seemed like everyone went to the lake or on holidays except us. I ordered books from the library which came on the Greyhound bus. I read alot of Laura Ingalls Wilder books, Trixie Beldon books, Hardy Boys books and alot of Superman comics and movie star magazines. I drew portraits of Elvis, Fabian and Ricky Nelson. I can’t remember what else I did during those long hot summers.
Another reason I did not care for summers was being hot, I couldn’t wear long sleeves or sweaters to hide the scar on my left arm. I got the scar when I was 2 years old. We were still in China then. I was scalded by a bowl of hot sweet syrup. It was winter and I had long sleeved top on. It was difficult to get it off. Doctors were not the common thing then. My burn would not heal for a long time. Someone advise taking me to a doctor. My arm healed, resulting in a large scar but I have full function. I didnot lose any range of motion but I did get teased.
I was very sensitive about it for a long time. I tried to imagine what it would feel like unscarred. I couldn’t since I can’t remember a time when I didn’t have the scar. I finally got over it when I became a nurse. All the uniforms were short sleeved. I was by then at the ripe age of 27/28. Took a long time to get over it. You can see dumb I was in this photo – how I turned my left arm in to hide the scar. I was not holding it naturally like my aunt behind me.
All these were long ago but feelings and memories linger still. They feel like part of my biology. But at least I understand the where, when and how. And I have this space to tap it onto the page. Then I don’t feel so bad.
It is another hot, hot day. Not a good day for creative thoughts or writing. I’ve fallen behind in my painting for the Daisy Yellow Index Card a Day challenge. Cooler weather is coming tomorrow. Perhaps I can do some catching up then. Meanwhile, I’ve been enjoying an afternoon siesta. It’s a wise thing to do when it is 34°C outside. But now it is time to wake up and write a post for day 11 of the Ultimate Blog Challenge.
My cousin from Boston had made a recent trip back to China. He sent a couple of photos of our house. My paternal grandfather had saved the money to have it built shortly before my father was born. So it is over 93 years old. It was a beautiful 2 story, 2 family home for my grandfather’s family and for his youngest brother’s family.
The main floor held 2 kitchens and living areas. The bedrooms on the 2nd floor. It has a flat roof with a cupola, for lack of a better word. I remember playing up there on the roof. It was where I had my first encounter with ‘ghosts’. I think I felt them rather than ‘saw’ them. My mother told me they were our ancestor and nothing to be afraid of.
When we left China, our family had intentions of returning. We have not made a return trip. Not even once. But the house has always been occupied by our cousins. Sadly, it hasn’t been maintained and looking quite neglected. And during Mao’s time, the government had taken all the steel that was part of the house – all the metal window shutters, the big main door and gate. Happily, the Boston cousin has the means to renovate it. He is going to have it restored to as when my grandfather had it built.
The cousin is the youngest son of my grandfather’s brother. He knows our families’ history. He knows that my grandfather had supported his family. He is grateful and wants good fend shui. No leaky roof over our ancestors’ heads.
In better daysHow it looks todayGetting ready for a face lift
It’s too hot for words today and my mind is totally toasted. Here’s what happiness is for me this morning. In the heat of the afternoon, I’m not feeling cool and content like my laughing buddha.
But a glass of rhubarb wine can greatly reduce my distress. I’m feeling a bit more mellow.
I’m looking at my garden with a happier eye. How can I ask for anything more?
Summer time and the living is not quite so easy, not even on a Sunday. Not for me anyways. Seems like as I grow older, life gets busier. Maybe that is because I am moving slower and I can’t keep pace. But what’s the haste, eh? That kind of attitude will get me nowhere fast.
I’ve learned to move early and often to compensate for my slowness. I’m up early almost at the crack of dawn. It’s easy when the sun is an early bird and lights the way. I always enjoy my first cup of tea immensely in the quiet of early morning. It’s always wonderful on the deck if weather permits.
After, I like to do a tour of my outdoor space before breakfast. You might say it’s my walking meditation. It clears my head and mind of useless debris, the toxins that can poison my very thoughts. The greenhouse is good place to wander in. It is still relatively cool and filled with the scent of bitter melon blossoms. This year has been odd with the weather just getting warm this past week. It is not a jungle of bitter melon vines and tomatoes of other summers. But they will come. Look! A cucumber ready for the picking.
It’s hard to stay still and put my feet up even in the heat of the afternoon. Things need to be done. This afternoon found me in our community garden. There’s weeds to be pulled, mulch to be laid and everything needs to be watered. So I sweated but it’s a good sweat. Time keeps marching on. The growing season is short. It is work I enjoy. It is much easier than clearing and cleaning house.
So another post for day 7 of the Ultimate Blog Challenge. Whew! I thought I couldn’t do it.
The morning is bright and sunny. I’m still irritably irked. It is a double whammy alright. Unfortunately, my nature is such that once something has got a hold of me, it is hard for me to let it go. I’m like Sheba with a bone. I miss her. If she was here, she could always make me feel better. But she’s not. I have to do it myself.
I’m not moving fast, weighed down by my miserable nature. But the day is started. I’ve dugged out another small patch in my flower bed. It is a little harder this morning, the soil being dryer. But it is very satisfying to get all those damn creeping bellflower roots up and out. When I see the network of carrot like tubers and fine fibers attached, it is no wonder they’re so difficult to get rid off. I am careful not to overdo. A little dab at a time will do it. Mission completed.
That is the approach I will have to take when the going gets tough. My brain is a bit foggy when I’m moody. I have to push a little harder through the mist to find the words and thoughts. I can think of it as aerobics for my mind. My vision can be clouded by my feelings. I can be wrong about many things in this state. It is better to do less rather than more. It is better for me to be slower than faster.
I have a tea to attend at Hues Art Supply this afternoon. It’s where I have been taking my art classes. For the month of July and August, they are displaying the students’ art. So two of my paintings are showing for the month of July.
It’s the 5th of July and and our temperatures are heating up. I’m hot and bothered and sweating a bucket. I’ll try to cool off before heading off to bed. I’ve been working hard today though feeling not getting much done. So I’m feeling a bit restless and not satisfied. Life is hard and the hardest thing I’m struggling with is to understand and being understood. Then there’s the don’t take things personally.
I’m irked, therefore trying to tap out instead of act out my angst. And it is the 5th day of the Ultimate Blog Challenge. Though I am tired and would rather watch Miss Marple, I’m making an effort to put my words out. I always have an intention to do this in the morning but intentions don’t count when I don’t act on them. Every day I have plans to tidy and clean up. There surely is a lot of clutter and dust. But I just haven’t done it either.
One thing that has been acted upon is my crusade against those bloody creeping, creepy bellflowers. I’ve been tackling them early each morning. I mean business, wanting to get them under control by end of summer. The job of digging them out is not as formidable in reality as it was in my head. Once I started, everything falls into place, one small patch at a time. There’s a rhythm to it, much like the tapping on the keyboard. I can see success in my head. It will happen.
I’m getting sleepy. I’m closing down. Be back tomorrow.
It’s the 4th day of the Ultimate Blog Challenge. I know it’s not going to be an easy going. My eyes are already glazed over with sleepiness and not one thought in my brain. So what am I going to do besides sweating and falling asleep? This is what could happen when you don’t have a product or business to peddle.
I really admire sales people but I can’t imagine being one. I hate the idea of selling but once I was pumped up with the idea that I could. So anything is possible. I tried. The honeymoon didn’t last long though. I failed. That was long ago. I’ve had more failures since but none the worse for it. I hope I can succeed in writing this post. It is not easy. The words are stuck and I just can’t shake them loose.
Oh well, some days are like that. I might as well pack it up. Tomorrow is another day. It is not do or die. There are always a silver lining to everything, including failure. I just can’t think what it is at the moment.
Thank God for Wordless Wednesdays! Today is super challenging and here I am, enrolled in all these volunteered challenges. For one thing, today feels super hot after endless grey, rainy and cool weather. I should be jumping up and down with joy BUT…I’m feeling lackadasical. I don’t think I can find myself out of a wet paper bag.
But I have to show up somehow. I mean, I can’t just fold up and hide away. Well, I suppose I could but what would that say about me? Hmmm. I muttered to myself and went out in the world anyways. What can I say when my mother asks me to get her 2 cans of chicken broth? I went and got her 2 cans of chicken broth and some other goodies. The outing did cheered me somewhat. And so did painting 2 little index cards for my Daisy Yellow Index Card a Day Challenge. They’re not great art but they are cheery.
Looks like I’m not wordless after all. The other challenge I have is much harder. It is getting rid of those damned creeping bellflowers that is all over my front year. And to think I did it to myself because someone said they’re good groundcover and have pretty blue flowers. The downside is they choke out everything and very, very hard to eliminate. Have a look. Some failures. Some success. Like everything in life. But this is the year. The first photo is of an area loaded with bellflowers. Subsequent photos of small areas I’ve cleared most of them. Of course they do come back, especially after a rain. I try to keep on top.
This bed is loaded with creeping bellflowers.
Well, this was very wordy. I guess I had to get it out.
onethousandandtwo 