20 MINUTES, 20 MINUTES, 20 MINUTES

It’s 9:12 am. I’m doing well in some areas of my new life. I’ve done my reading for 20 minutes, 30 minutes of mindfulness meditation and almost 20 minutes of my Jesus stitches. I feel somewhat psychologically nauseous, not at all at one with the world. I do believe with a change in anything, I will feel worse before I will begin to feel better and that this is worth the effort. I know that in my head if not in my heart.

But hey, here I am, tapping out my testimony. I will feel what I feel, think what I think. I will try not to pass judgement on any of this. My hands feel weak, limp at the wrist. The Jesus stitches were more difficult this morning. I had to count rows, change threads, use my magnifying glass to see where in the pattern I’m at. It’s complicated. I hate complications. I hate the counting and recounting. I would like to coast and not to change threads and have all the stitches the same. But it would make for a bland, no picture, wouldn’t it? So I suck it up and breathe into and out of my frustrations. Another little section accompli. Now I have to go for my cuppa.

It is 12:16 pm. I’ve spent some time sewing on my tablecloth. Had another mishap with finger in the way of the needle. Not being mindful again but at least the needle did not break. I might have to wear a thimble on that finger. Lunch is finished but the dishes not yet dealt with. I’ve made my appointment at the hearing center at Costco to get my hearing checked and a consultation about hearing aids. Hearing loss, no matter how small, affects brain function. Not doing anything about it is laziness and procrastination on my part. It is another positive step for me.

The MUSTS are done for the day. I can coast relax a little for the rest of the day. It is advisable not to tax myself with too long a list. It would be good if I can do the dishes and a few other household chores. Then I need to schedule a happy hour or just 20 minutes.

About hafong

Hello! My name is (Leung) Hafong alias Lily Leung. You always say the last name first….that is the Chinese way. That is my partner lurking behind me. Since this is my blog, I won’t mention his name. But this is a rather cool picture. You see me and yet you don’t…sort of the way I feel about myself most of my life. So this blog is a self-exploration, an archeology dig of some sort. My tools…..words of a thousand or so at a sitting. I will try for that.
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