I think I have had too many glasses of wine. I am not feeling myself on this 43rd day into Lent. I am feeling rather angry, ticked off.
Making progress in becoming enlightened is a hard task. I am no Buddha but I do try hard. I have no Bodhi tree to sit under. But I do have a snow pile to clear. I am learning to use my bad energy to do good things. Today I have cleared a wide path all the way in front of the house. Now, there’s less worry about melting snow doing damage to the foundation.
I have not lost any of my excess weight yet, though I have stepped on the scale a few times. Getting slimmer is not easy or simple. I am walking Sheba twice a day. I am not really thrilled about it, but I do it anyways. As soon as we start out, I want to come back and hit the couch already. I talk myself into one block, then another block, and another. I have to train myself into liking something. I have to train myself into good habits.
I threw out my drawer full of old ugly, utilitarian bras today….finally. Funny how that is. Even though I’ve brought 4 nice new ones and 6 really pretty vibrant camisoles, it was still difficult to toss those ugly old bras. Attachment? What was I attached to – things of no use and no longer desirable. So what other undesirables are still lurking in my drawers and closet? What yukkies are hidden in my head?
Well, it is getting late. I am scare of the dark. I am scare of my shadow. Best wait for sunlight before digging further. I might have to stick with digging snow for awhile till I am stronger. And I will – get stronger. I trust the God in me.