The house feels amazingly cool at 23℃ this morning. It is already 20℃ at 8:30 in the morning. There’s a red ring around the sun. The sky is hazy. No smell of smoke in the air. A good sign. I feel the strangeness of everything in the now. I feel as if I’m in one of Barbara Atwood’s science fiction novels. I haven’t read many of her books. The ones I started, I couldn’t finish. I found them too strange and unsettling. That is how I am feeling these days. I am a chicken shit.
I’m trying to get a start on my day and not wallow in my feelings and moods. I wish I could be more organized and have a plan on how to tackle each day of the Ultimate Blog Challenge like many of my fellow bloggers. Alas, it’s a bit late in the game. We’re into day 24. Perhaps I am not doing too bad as I’ve only missed a day. Still having a plan is better than flying by the seat of my pants. It’s a bit of a struggle living on the fly. Things have caught up and I am in a hell of a clutter.
Before it was mostly paper. The paper still exist. I can’t seem to deal with opening the mail. I toss them on the table meaning to later…Of course the later never comes. Now, I have alot of my mother’s clothes. I have sorted some and donated them. Then there’s the
onethousandandtwo 
Sorting a parent’s clothes is not a chore, it is grief with a deadline someone else invented. No wonder the bags are still partly done. There is nothing chicken about moving slowly through that. You showed up on day 24 and wrote about a hard morning without dressing it up, and that is the opposite of hiding. The red ring around the sun would put anyone in an Atwood frame of mind. Be gentle with yourself today.
By the way.. did this get cut off? It ends with, “Then there’s the”
Be Well.
Paul.
Thank you, Paul. It didn’t end with , “Then there’s the” so maybe cut off. You are thoughtful and generous. I am learning to answer comments.
I appreciate how real this post is. It sounds like you’re carrying more than just physical clutter right now, and I imagine many readers will see themselves in your words. You’ve stayed committed to a challenge despite everything else on your plate, and that says a lot. Wishing you much grace
Thank you Lisa.
I can easily get overwhelmed with tasks that need to get done. I find writing it all down with how long it should take and assign a day to do it. Once I have it all down – whether its a few days of work or a few weeks – the anxiety dissipates at least somewhat and I’m able to focus more.
That’s a helpful tip, Barbara. Thanks. I will try it.
Lily, what a day for you! You are not hiding– you are being brave to be open about how things are stacked up. It’s too much to deal with on hot days. I hope by now you have a cooling neck wrap that you keep in the freezer at night. (Very cheap at Amazon, Walmart, everywhere.) When my husband passed, we had a lot of like-new clothing, and I was blessed that No. 1 son was here with a large car. I called the shop that benefits the hospice we used, and they said, oh yes, they would love to have men’s clothing, shoes, jackets, belts, hats… So No. 1 son filled the car, and they met him outside the shop with a big clothing rack. No. 1 son kept only the leather bomber jacket I had given Hunky Husband for his last birthday. I was just starting cancer treatment, so I literally had to take everything one step at a time. You can do this, and you will, and we are with you, my friend.
Thank you, Kebba. You are such a strong woman. I haven’t gotten a cooling neck wrap yet. I’ve just had a cold beer so I’m feeling a bit chilled. I will wait for cooler weather to deal with heavier issues. You’ve been very helpful. Thank you.
Grief has a way of turning even ordinary tasks, like opening the mail or sorting through belongings, into overwhelming ones. Be kind to yourself. One step at a time is enough. ❤️
Thank you, Tamara.
lily it’s interesting what you’ve said I was just groaning last night as I wondered out loud – what on earth am I gong to talk about in my blog tomorrow. I like to write my blog out the day before it’s due to be published so I don’t need to worry about it on the actual day and can then just click the publish button . It does seem that the month is getting a bit tough and I’ve counting how many more days left in the challenge. The blog writing has been taking my many many hours per article and I do worry that I should be putting that time into my own piano practice instead. However the heat in the day is so extreme lately that I’m finding it too hot and tiring to sit at the piano for too long – and the problem is that we don’t have any air conditioning here . So it is easier for me to just go and sit down instead and have a play around writing ✍️ these posts on the computer instead. I’m sending you big hugs 🤗 Lily , do take it easy and try to drink lots of water and get some rest.
Best wishes, Alice
Thank you, Alice. I wish I had your discipline. I can only write short posts. I would do great writing for Hallmark greeting cards.