Sheba and I are spending time alone today. She is cuddled up with her toys and I am sitting before my keyboard, tapping out my thoughts and feelings.
It has been a good day. I am not only reading self-help books, but I am actually putting my gained knowledge into use….finally. Imagine that! I have spent a lifetime gathering information on mood disorders and how to be happy. But knowledge without action equals zilch. If we keep doing the same things over and over, we keep getting the same results. Who said that…Oprah, Dr. Phil or some other luminary? You don’t need to be a rocket scientist to know that, but sometimes a hammer on the head is necessary.
After reading Sitting Kills, Moving Heals by Joan Vernikos, I decided I better MOVE today. And so I did. Sheba and I went for an early morning walk after breakfast. The morning sunshine and kids going to school was energizing. I did my qigong routine after we got home. I breathed and moved, clearing my stagnant chi.
Having limbered and stretched, I got on my bike before I could procrastinate away the opportunity. I am learning to prioritize…get the important things done first. I rode to the park at the school, pedaling along the meandering paths, practicing gear shifts. I made it up the hill once. On my second time around, I couldn’t find the right gear and couldn’t make it up. I had to stop and turn the bike around. It was still a valiant effort.
I kept my natural restlessness in check by moving – doing my neglected daily living activities. I ironed my uniforms and damp mopped the floors in a steady leisurely pace. I tried to keep my attention focused on what I was doing. I was practicing the yoga of housekeeping. I felt a certain pleasure in doing my chores. Weird!
It sure sounds like I did a lot today. I did, compared to my usual slothful ways. Sheba and I even went to the park after lunch and then stopped at the library on the way home. The secret for me is tiny steps and small varied chores….a little of this and a little of that. They add up big.
I’m not saying it was easy, but I’m not saying it was hard either. Throughout the day, I felt moments of blueness, anxiety, fatigue. I took a break in those moments for a cup of tea, a handful of walnuts, an avocado. I laid on the floor and did some stretching and meditation. I’m not at all flexible. My mind wanders. So what?
PRACTICE MAKES BETTER.
And my mood waxes and wanes…the blueness and anxiety. They are fleeting, but I resist the need for conversation, company and comfort. Sometimes you need to spend time with yourself…to wrestle with your demons or to talk with the angels. You cannot share everything. You have to save something for yourself.