I’m sitting amidst my paper clutter on this sunny Sunday. Not a dark cloud or a drop of rain for a change. No dark clouds from me either. For a change I am not fretting about my clutters or mutters. I am surprisedly at peace with it all. Hallelujah, eh? It would be wonderful if I could retain this chill most of the time. The thing not to do is search for the cause or sources of my bliss. I should have just sit and savour it and move on. BUT of course being me, I had to investigate and in doing so I caused myself some mild angst.
Since I did go down the trail of why, let me continue on and voice my thoughts. I had a visit from my neighbour across the back alley yesterday. We’ve been neighbours for over 40 years and had worked in the same institution but different departments for many years. We’re not close friends but neighbourly enough for her to call us on a few occasions for help. She has been a widow for about 14 years. She is quite hard of hearing even with her buds in. Long complicated conversations are rare. Sometimes she comes across as unfriendly and aloof because of it. However, yesterday, everything was in working order. She was cheerful and outgoing and hearing well. Conversation flowed. She was so content and peaceful, I think I’ve caught her mood.
Today our family did our annual visit to my grandparents’ place in the cemetery. We did not burn incense or paper money. We did not pour libation but paid our respects with our bouquets of flowers. It was my mother’s wish as she thinks it will make it easier and simpler for us when she and my father are no longer here. I think we might put it back next year. It is not hard to do and I do miss those rituals. Afterwards we had take out lunch on our enclosed deck. It was warm enough for mom and dad and cool enough for the rest of us. It was a perfect day for the cemetery and a family gathering on the deck. Covid has made me more sensitive and appreciative of such perfectness.
These 2 things, my neighbour and family, are most likely responsible for my feeling of well being. A thought did popped into my head that it might be a new supplement my doctor prescribed. I agreed to try it for 2 months and be reassessed. I’ve only started it yesterday. I was not going to look up the possible side effects. Against my better judgement I just did. My bliss kind of fizzled a little but I smartened up, realizing how strong and fast my thoughts affect how I feel. So, I’ve deleted, deleted and deleted those thoughts in my head.
It’s been a busy week. I’m fallen off my Monday, Wednesday, Friday routine of posting. But I have shown up here Monday and Sunday. It is good enough.