The house is quiet. I am alone. Times like this, I feel Sheba is still here, keeping me company. I was feeling tranquil and peaceful until I checked my emails. Now I am all nettled and disturbed. I take a deep breath and another one. I watch my steam and breath evaporate into air. I close my eyes and drop my shoulders. This is life. Take charge of it.

I’m doing the best I can. I get up and put disturbed energy to use. 3 rooms are vacuumed and I am sipping a cup of decaf. This is a good time to slow down and really watch Professor Paul Gilbert’s videos on understanding our tricky brain and using compassion to take us into a better life. Last night I was in a hurry. I was stressed and too focused on writing my post on the Ultimate Blog Challenge. As a result I did not get a good read on the video. Not only that, I made a mistake of copying and pasting the wrong link to the loop. My post was deleted by the moderator, though I had corrected it by that time.

I thought about arguing the point. Then I had second thoughts. How important is it to stay in the loop? My topic was interesting and important maybe only to me but my post was not well written. How important was it for me to have 2 comments on it because the 2 writers below me were obligated by rules to read and comment on it? I rather people read and comment because of their interest in the content. I’m rethinking the ‘challenge’ thing. I’ve lost some joy of my writing space. I am not competitive with others, only with myself. I am not selling any product or service. I want to read and write of things interesting and important to me.

In the light of day, it makes sense to revamp my must dos. I am not abandoning the Ultimate Blog Challenge. I will go by the rules and not put my link in the thread. This will free up my sense of obligations. I have alot of my plate for April. That deadline for Tax Return is closing in. I am not feeling ready. My greenhouse and seedlings and seeding are yelling at me. I have an online class with U of S Tuesday afternoons. April Love is easy, gentle and soothing and do-able. My #100dayproject is on top of my must list. My daily draw/watercolour are improving day by day. I am so happy with Helios I painted as a puppy and a one year old. They’ve made my days.

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